If Ya'll Aren't Watching The Ed Show Yet, Start Tonight

Ed’s reporting on a story that should make your eyes pop out of your head mad.

WASHINGTON – May 5 – Doctors and other advocates of a national single-payer health system – also known as an improved Medicare for All – directly confronted senators at a Senate Finance Committee “roundtable” on health reform today.

One-by-one, eight single-payer advocates in the audience stood up during the opening comments of the hearing and asked why single-payer experts were being excluded from the proceedings. They each spoke out in turn until they were removed from the committee hearing room, one-by-one, by U.S. Capitol police.

The doctors and others said that a publicly funded, privately delivered single-payer system is the only solution to the crisis plaguing our nation’s non-system of health care, noting that single-payer national health insurance would guarantee coverage for everyone and contains costs.

Despite polling that shows a clear majority of public and physician support for a single-payer system, Sen. Max Baucus (D-Mont.), chair of the Senate Finance Committee, has stated on multiple occasions that single payer is “off the table” of health reform.

Expansion of Medicare is the only health care reform that makes any sense. The best part about it is that it forces the “free market” people to STFU because all it does is allow Medicare to compete on the free market just like anybody else. Those who oppose it but claim to be “free market” people are either lying or brain-damaged or just out-and-out owned.

This here is a group of M.D.s for fcuk sake, standing up for this incredibly reasonable policy, and they were shown the door by Capitol Cops. Good-ness.

The Ed Show. 6 p.m. MSNBC. Tonight. Should be good.

Meghan McCain, You Do Not Fail to Disappoint

Just when I was starting to begrudgingly like Meghan McCain a little, she goes and pull some crap like this.

McCain was really racking up some points with this guy. For starters, she’s a hot-lookin’ thick broad, which I hate to admit improves her Q rating considerably here. But that of course is pretty much canceled out due to the fact that, um, she sprang from the loins of Twice-Failed Presidential Candidate John McWeirdsmile.

But then she goes on The Rachel Maddow Show and kind of articulates a new vision for her old stale broken shitty awful mean crappy stupid political party. Then Laura Ingram, not to be confused with Laura Flanders, refers to Ms. McCain as a “plus-sized model,” and she goes on The View and says she feels like she’d like to tell Ingram to kiss her fat ass. Upon that, this writer very nearly had some affection for Meghan McCain.

Thanks for tweeting me back to my senses, honey:

“Half an hour or so before Barack Obama’s interview on the Tonight Show was set to air on the East Coast, he was already getting criticism from Meghan McCain, daughter of John.

“Hmmm,” McCain tweeted, “maybe the president shouldn’t go on Leno and talk about basketball and instead explain to me how those morons at AIG got bonuses…”

It’s bad enough that her comment was premature, tone-deaf, and flat-out wrong. It’s also the echo of a burgeoning Republigoat talking point: Look at Obama, he’s goofing off when he should be fixing the economy. Anyone echoing this new shitty talking point is a liar, a hypocrite, and a god-damned racist.

It’s a lie because there’s nothing further from the truth. President Obama has been more dynamic and more driven a president in 60 days than his idiot predecessor was in both of his “terms” of “office,” and the issue on Obama’s front-burner has clearly been the economy and, this week, the AIG bonersus. And that is, mostly, what was discussed on The Tonight Show last evening. Liars.

It’s hypocritical because the Immediate Past Former President, the last real standard-bearer of the Republigoat party, was the laziest “President” ever, having spent 30 percent of his “presidency” in Crawford. He was famously unengaged, at his worst having to be force-fed information about the dying and in-need in post-Katrina NOLA. And he is decidedly the reason for the season. Make no mistake, your guy is the reason we’re in a boat where million-dollar bonuses seem like a crime to nearly everyone.

And yeah, that talking point has the added bonus of being whispered racism. Why don’t you just call the man “shiftless” and prepare to apologize to Al Sharpton? Why not just come out and say that the President of the United States is shuckin’ and jivin’ while the country goes to hell? Why be so subtle? Just don your hood and light up your torch already!

Barack Obama’s appearance on The Tonight Show was nothing short of brilliant, and giving him shit for it seems to me to indicate some sort of mild, chronic brain injury. Obama needs right now to reassure the American people. And there is not a place on television from where people derive more comfort than the desk formerly inhabited by Johnny Carson. And besides, how refreshing is it that the President of the United States actually wants to talk to you? And that he actually has the ability to hold his own as the solitary guest on a late-night talk show?

Not to mention that the President said something vitally important last night, though it’s not the bit that will be most-quoted today, the part where he defended Mr. Geithner. No, Obama said what I’ve been waiting to hear, that not only does he intend to clean up this mess, but that the federal government must place new and/or enforce existing regulations and look to the future to make sure happy horseshit like this doesn’t happen again. That is the more important message, more important than the bonersus, more important than the shite economy we’ve inherited; much more important is that President Obama intends to assert the power of the federales to take these assholes down a peg or seven. That’s what I wanted to hear, and I heard it. What a strange new feeling.

It’s a shame about Meghan McCain. I was nearly convinced that she hadn’t taken the suppository.* I have to thank her today for proving me wrong.

*”…the jagged, horrid, rusty, poisonous suppository that is used to corrupt Republigoats, that travels from their ass through their entire bloodstream, leaving behind shards of poison and bad ideas, and ending up in the brain, where it severs the corpus collosum and implants the text of ‘Atlas Shrugged,’ poop, and the hallucination that Ann Coulter is hot.

An SNL MSNBC Spoof Finally Nails It

When Ben Affleck spoofed the almighty Keith Olbermann recently, it wasn’t very good. It had its moments. The exaggerated camera changes, were funny. But it didn’t nail it. It fell flat.

I’m a big Keith fan, but I’m not just being a fanboi here. I think an Olbermann spoof could be very good. Affleck’s just wasn’t. Good satire requires more than a germ of truth. Many say that Olbermann’s Special Comment segment can be “over the top,” sure. However, it does serve to remember that the segment was born in reaction to the Secretary of Defense characterizing people who disagreed with him as “morally” and “intellectually” “confused.” Such an assertion by such a highly-placed government official demands “over the top,” and thank Zeus that somebody had the balls to deliver.

Besides, Olbermann has never done and would never do a Special Comment on a triviality or on a personal matter, as Affleck’s portrayal suggested. He’s never come close to such an ethical infraction. You shouldn’t satirize a strawman. It’s just not funny. No, Affleck should stick to impersonating Alec Baldwin. His Olbermann was an utter failure.

Leave it to Amy Elliott, granddaughter of Bob Elliott, to clean that mess up. Last night, Ms. Elliott did her damndest Rachel Maddow. It was very good. Watch:

Ms. Maddow, I believe you have arrived.

Parenthetically: I am wishing I could find an online embed of the SNL Digital Short from last night, in which Neil Patrick Harris plays the theme from Doogie Howser, M.D. It is, without hyperbole, the funniest thing I have ever seen. I cannot watch it again lest I turn blue and poop on the carpet laughing. I love brilliance. And that was brilliant. (I am guessing SNL couldn’t license the music for the Web, so no Web embed. Damnit Jim.)

Also, can someone please tell the editors of The Huffington Post that it’s not called a “skit,” but a “sketch?” Grrrrr.

The Little House I Used To Live In

From my keyboard, it is difficult to blog here about politics and policy right now. President-Elect Obama is working in suspended animation; all he can really do right now is march out his cabinet picks and tell people that everything is going to be all right. So, what more is there to analyze at this point in the game?

So, Fred Armisen’s been working hard on his Obama. This “I Keep It Cool” sketch from last evening was just terrific.

Finally, an addition for Zappadan: From The Onion of April 2004.

Frank Zappa Fan Thinks You Just Haven’t Heard The Right Album
NEDERLAND, CO.—In spite of your insistence that you are not into Frank Zappa, avid fan Roger Von Lee believes that you would change your mind if you heard the right album. “You’re prejudiced, because the only Zappa you know is ‘Valley Girl’ and ‘Don’t Eat The Yellow Snow,'” Von Lee told you Tuesday. “Seriously, you need to check out Hot Rats or Absolutely Free. Zappa and the Mothers were at their peak, and Zappa’s jazz-rock fusion experiments predate Bitches Brew. That’ll totally convince you that Zappa’s the shit.” Von Lee added that if those two don’t get under your skin, he can recommend another 15 to 20 albums that will for sure.

Incidentally, Burnt Weeny Sandwich is one of my favorites as well, evar. One of Zappa’s great strengths was knowing what to do with other musicians. Jean-Luc Ponty was, I think, one of the finest examples of this. Good-NESS, how did that man’s fiddle not catch on fire?

The Double Maverick

John McWeirdsmile, on SNL tonight during “Weekend Update,” described a bunch of “new strategies” he might now roll out for his campaign. One he describes as the “double maverick,” where he just “goes double berzerker and freaks everybody out.”

Wait. Dude. YOU’VE ALREADY DONE THAT ONE.

And, by the way: Where’s your FLAG PIN, John? Why do you hate America?

Anyway. I felt uncomfortable during Affleck’s sendup of Mr. Olbermann. I know. I know. You lemon-sucking liberal, get a sense of humor. I could, possibly, except for one detail that rendered the entire sketch pretty much humorless: The point at which they used footage of The Current President. The footage, unfortunately, was of TCP speaking briefly at Booker Elementary School before rushing to Air Force One, just after commercial passenger airliners had flown into both towers of the the World Trade Center on September 11, 2001.

Is it funny to use film from that day as a prop in a nationally televised comedy sketch?

As Seth and Amy might put it: Really?

David Frum, Today's Worst Person In The World

Update, Oct. 14: Missed it by that much, at least in the hed. Olbermann named Frum “worser.” The Fox Ted Baxter took top honors.

Also on this evening’s television version of TRMS, conservative dickhead David Frum, upon being graciously invited into Rachel Maddow’s living room, proceeds to plop down on the sofa and slam his muddy boots onto the coffee table. Fortunately for us and for television, Dr. Maddow was not content to let him get away with it. The exchange was riveting:

There is simply no equivalency argument to be made of the New Liberal Media versus the rancid bile that’s come from the likes of Fat Boy Limbaugh and Fox “News” over the years, heckling idiots at rallies notwithstanding. Frum’s inclination to immediately attack the very show he appeared on is a belying and nearly ironic example of how our media dynamic actually works versus the weird invective Frum was offering with his mouth. He was invited to appear on a television program and immediately attacked the television program on which he was appearing. Which side is it, Mr. Frum, that is more interested in the rumble than the resolution? Hmmmm, fucktard?

And notice the conditions to which Frum refers throughout. Now that we’re the opposition, he says, now that it’s apparent there will probably be a Democratic majority, now let’s play nice. Was this guy being all outspoken and stuff when Sensenbrenner was turning off the lights and the microphones? When Conyers had to hold hearings in a furnace room in the basement? When the vote on prescription drugs was held open for hours while Delay wheeled and dealt? Where was Frum’s call to play nice then?

If Frum doesn’t make Keith’s list tomorrow, I’ll eat my hat and my shirt, too. What a dickbong. Hey. I just invented a word. Look at that.

P.S. Damnit Jim, actually, I did not.