Behave Yourself

Andrew Breitbart here exhibits the pure, unadulterated psychosis of the political forces that make up today’s Republigoat Par-tay.

Note the authoritarian language that first inspires him here. Note also the awesome irony, or should I simply say idiocy, of a middle-aged fat guy being dragged away by cops as he screams at a gaggle of teenagers.

There is something seriously wrong with this fellow. But I do not think it is anything less than the foul, vicious psychosis that plagues his entire political movement.

Newt is Right About Shooting the Moon

(The original post of this was by Papa Bonk, below. You may want to read that first. But his and my ideas on this were so alike that I thought I’d just steal from him. Thanks, Papa.)

The funny thing is that PB and I had not spoken about this issue, not once, until we were watching, I think it was Bill Maher, or maybe it was Rachel (who, by the way, will appear soon on The Howard Stern Show, I’m very excited about that) some liberal pundit crapping all over Newt for suggesting the notion and for actually laying down the notion of a legal framework for making it happen. Which is surprisingly forward-thinking for this fellow. And PB said to me, he said, you know, well, he said basically what he just wrote just now there. And I said jeez, Pop, I’ve been thinking the exact same thing. And he said yeah, I’ve been meaning to sit down and write that. And, I said yeah, you should man. And he did.

The thing about it is, the space program is something that has the potential to push and inspire and create like no other thing a country can do. It is the most extreme example there is of research and development. It is an endeavor (no pun intended there, Space Shuttle Endeavor) that requires human beings to think bigger than they generally tend to think. You don’t get results in a space program by saying that your mission is to poke a little telescope up there, or that your mission is to get astronauts to live up there for four months at a time. You get results by declaring a mission of enormous proportions, and then you send your scientists off to work to pursue it. This is one of the few things Kennedy did that was actually brilliant. He set this nation off to put feet on the moon’s surface, and by the end of the decade, sadly after his demise, we did.

Presidents should embrace something that is larger than life, that is indeed, larger than their most mundane issues, which to anyone else is pretty much non-mundane. In fact, I think it’s a generalized criticism that many of those of us on my “side” have of President Obama: He seems to be unable or unwilling to pursue the astral plane that the Presidency itself can give one access to. Candidate Obama seemed to promise to rule this rarefied area. President Obama, while insanely accomplished, has yet to poke the vein that inspires Americans to the point of foaming at the mouth. He’s barely even toured the bully pulpit. Fireside chats: Not his cup of meat.

No, Newt is on to something, and us liberalz better prestar atencion. I think his moon talk is actually spot on and is also politically brilliant. At a time when the space program seems to be winding down; at a time when this country needs a little hope infusion, talk of colonizing the Moon is exactly the kind of stuff that might get this horny bastard elected.

By the way, it’s also not a bad idea.

Kitteh Iz Librul

I have just sat down to spend a little extra time with my kitteh. She is a sweet red-haired kitteh who likes the top of her head scratched and who sometimes likes to rub her gums on my arm. Yeah, it’s weird. She also likes you to find that one spot just behind her ear. And she loves to be brushed.

I should clarify of course; she’s not really MINE. She belongs to the house. But when I moved here, I would from time to time stop to take a moment to pet her. And pretty soon, she adopted me.

I am spending a little extra time with kitteh today because of this story, which would really get my goat anyway, but I am, I have to admit, somewhat of a fan of the felines. Here, read on:

When Jake Burris, the campaign manager for Democrat Ken Aden, arrived at his home in Arkansas he found the family cat dead on his front porch. The cat’s skull had been bashed in. It’s eyeball was hanging out of its socket. And the word “liberal” was written on its fur.

The full story is here. It is accompanied by a photograph of a dead cat with a look of sheer terror on its face. So tread lightly if you’re squeamish.

I personally think this speaks volumes to the false equivalencies that are often drawn when talking about “liberals” and “conservatives.” I’m sorry, but liberals do not murder doctors in cold blood. We do not cut letters of the alphabet into our faces and claim that some black man had mugged us. We do not murder peoples’ pets. There is, I’m sorry, a pathology on that side of the aisle that just does not exist over here.

Unless, of course, you can point to the news story about the dead cat with the word “conservative” painted on him. I sure can’t.

John McBoobies Strikes Again

It is one thing to embed this clip of Failed Presidential Candidate John McBoobies’ slip of the tongue here, and to laugh at it, and to rather inelegantly refer to it as a “Freudian slip” (I do not believe for a moment that John McBoobies actually harbors deep subconscious wishes for an additional term for our current president). However, there is a larger question here.

Why do they keep giving this man a microphone?

Was his incompetence not apparent enough when he was looking around for a running mate and he said hmmmm, how about this completely untested idiot out of Wasilla, Alaska? Was it not enough that this dum-dum nearly put Prudence Palin into the White House?

Admiral Stockdale was a fucking genius compared to this guy. Were I a Republigoat, which I think we’ve pretty much established that I were not, I’d want my party to give this guy a turkey sandwich and an iPod and make him go sit in the god-damned corner.

I Have One Thing To Say. Sashay. Shantay.

I think it’s time for the Democrats or some non-related corporate person of some sort to really explore and illuminate the subject of repressed, self-loathing homosexuals. Like, there should be a two-hour documentary about it on the MSNBC, for example. Or political spots. And I’m thinking let’s get some guys who are former self-hating homosexuals who have since come out of the closet, let’s get those guys on the Maury Povich show and shit.

Because, like it or not, the specter of repressed, self-loathing homosexuals is a powerful dynamic in American politics. And, more often then not, it is used in favor of the Republigoats. Just look at the latest Rick Perry ad dust-up, for example.

I won’t post the thing here as this is an utterly partisan blog, so I only believe in giving Democrats, Greens, and Communists free advertising here. But you’ve probably seen the thing and it is likely embedded in one of the Web articles I’m about to link to. It’s basically Rick Perry walking in the woods in a nice manly-looking jacket talking about what a great Christian he is and how Obama is a queer-loving Moslem who hates Christmas.

The Week has a nice analysis of this ad, Why Rick Perry is airing an ‘anti-gay’ ad: 5 theories. The theories are:

  • The ‘gay-baiting’ is a play for Iowa’s social conservatives
  • He’s subtly reminding voters that Romney’s a Mormon
  • Perry’s also dog-whistling to the Obama’s-a-Muslim crowd
  • He’s using the ad as a “political beard”
  • Perry wants to tap into the war on the “War on Christmas”

They certainly brush on my own theory, but they don’t quite get there. My own theory is that the ad was actually meant to speak directly to conservative, repressed, self-loathing homosexuals. I mean, I’m not saying that Rick Perry actually is a repressed, self-loathing homosexual. But I am saying that he plays one on TV.

I mean, a lot of people are making something of the fact that Ol’ Rick is wearing the same manly jacket in his advertisement that Heath Ledger wore when he played a repressed, self-loathing homosexual in the film Brokeback Mountain. Ha-ha-ha-ha! They keep saying. Lookit how badly they fucked up here! He’s saying something against the gays, but he’s wearing a totally gay icon of a jacket! Looit how they stupid! Ha-ha-ha!

Has it not occurred to you that the people who made this ad are in television and are familiar with the imagery and ran out to CountryMax to buy him one of them jackets because it would do just what they wanted it to do, which was to speak directly to the repressed, self-loathing homosexuals in Iowa?

I don’t want to brush with broad strokes, but it is pretty clear that if there’s political news that has a guy who is a repressed, self-hating homosexual central to the story, that guy is probably a Republigoat. Larry Craig. Mark Foley (although that cannot be entirely chalked up to homosexuality because Foley was actually a pederast). Ted Haggart. This is the party of the repressed, self-loathing homosexual. So there is a demographic to appeal to there, and I think the Perry ad team decided to go all out, jacket and all.

I think it would behoove Democrats and also actual progressive political parties to shine a light on this issue. I think most Americans might want to know that, if that guy is running some sort of gay “conversion” program, chances are good that he dreams every day of balls on his forehead and has the scars on his upper thighs to prove it.

What The Occupy Protests Actually Mean

I think there’s a thread missing and an enormously broad question not being asked and investigated regarding the Occupy protests, and, as is often the case, you will be hearing about it first here at the ol’ KIAV.

The question, quite simply, is why now? Why not three years ago? Why not during the horrific health care reform debates? Why did these protests not rise up as a natural response to the teabaggers?

Let’s think about the motivations of the protesters who rolled out to campuses many years ago to stick it to Nixon and his dirty little war. These protesters, I think, protested for a few distinct reasons, including that they were spoiled loudmouths, including that they were trying to get laid, and including that a rather significant population of them ran the risk of actually having to travel to southeast Asia and to stand waist deep in muck just to get their heads blown up like a melon dropped off of a bridge.

Having once been a 20-something who did a little tiny bit of protesting of sorts when I could, I understand the trying to get laid angle and the being an opinionated asshole angle of it. But I never faced something that made me protest or whatever because I felt like my life depended on it.

But I think that these kids have that motivation. I think that’s why now. Because I think that these kids are in college, and they’re neck-deep in student loan debt, and they’re looking out upon this wholly shitty job market, and they’re feeling like they’re being asked to face the risk of getting their tootsies blown off by a bouncing betty. Figuratively, I mean.

I think the protests mean that the 20-year-olds are finally really feeling the pinch of this horrible terrible economic envrionment in which we find ourselves. And I think that means that this shit has really come home to roost and that somebody in Washington had better tell this stupid “supercongress” bullshit to step aside and shut up because we’re about to do some economic stimulus on your ass.

Better yet, give us some leadership who can go above and beyond “stimulus” and who can re-instill a respect for work and for labor in this once great nation of ours.

Yeah. I said it.

Teach your children well. And then, maybe, you know, listen to them.

Am I The Only Mofo Around Here Who Owns A Google?

Stupidity on the part of the right wing, I’m used to, so much so that I often just block it out like traffic noise. Stupidity on the part of librals, though, really pisses me off.


It’s from a Bible verse, you numbskulls. II Thessalonians 3:10. More Christo-fascist dog whistle blowing, that’s all it is. This a meaningless quote, and in fact, you’re seizing upon the wrong thing regarding it.

Ya’ll should be pointing out with glee that socialists and communists are particularly fond of the quote.

Michele Bachmann. Ignorant and tone deaf as usual.

Not Necessarily Beautiful, but Mutated

Before Barack Obama was elected President of the United States, he was a world-traveled young man who went to Occidental College and made his first public policy speech at age 20, transferred to Columbia, graduated with a Bachelor of Arts, became a community organizer and grew that organization from a staff of one to a staff of 13, then attended Harvard and was chosen to edit the Harvard Law Review in his first year, graduated from Harvard, wrote a book, then was a lecturer on Constitutional law from 1992 to 1996, then was elected as a state senator in 1996, was reelected in 1998 and in 2002, losing in a run for the House of Representatives in 2000 only to be elected as a senator in 2004, riding a stellar speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention, when Obama came to the attention of many of us as a superstar.

And a large complaint against Obama during the 2008 election was that he didn’t have any experience.

Herman Cain graduated from Morehouse College with a Bachelor of Science in mathematics and got his graduate at Purdue, a Masters in computer science. He worked as a ballistics analyst for the Department of Navy. He became a successful analyst in the area of restaurants and foods, drastically improving the performance of 400 Burger King restaurants he managed for Pillsbury. Pillsbury took the unusual step in corporate America of rewarding success, and Cain was made CEO of their Godfather’s Pizza. He closed approximately 200 restaurants and eliminated several thousand jobs. Then, he and a group of investors bought Godfather’s Pizza from Pillsbury in a leveraged buyout. He was a member of the Federal Reserve Bank of Kansas City’s board and also was CEO of the National Restaurant Association having previously been a board member and also served on various boards of directors of other food service corporations. Cain was also a voice against the Clinton health care plan, was a senior adviser to the 1996 Dole campaign, was a brief candidate for President in 2000, was a candidate for Senate in 2004 and did not win the primaries, and since 2005 has had an association with the Washington lobby group “Americans for Prosperity.”

We are hearing a lot about Cain’s reported and alleged proclivity toward forcing pretty young girls into uncomfortable situations, and I do not want to make light of those charges. These stories are making the recitations of Paula Jones make Bill Clinton seem like one suave character.

What we’re not hearing much of, though, is that Herman Cain’s career is that as a corporate bean counter made CEO and as a failed candidate for political office; that he has little to no experience for the office he seeks. There is not public service in his background unless you count being a candidate and a lobbyist.

I could give a crap that he’s been inappropriate with women. I am concerned that the man is not remotely qualified for the position.