The Efficacy of the 'Swift Boat'

It will soon be necessary for the Democrats to adopt a tactic that will look like a ‘swift boat,’ though in this instance it will be warranted and honest.

Because one of John McWeirdsmile’s favoritely touted strengths is actually an issue we should be asking a lot of questions about. This is something that was patently obvious when the man was ran for president in 2000, so obvious that Saturday Night Live addressed it in jest at the time. Now, however, the subject has taken on an air of taboo, at a moment when it is absolutely critical that we seek some answers.

That is, how was Presumptive Presidential Nominee John McWeirdsmile affected by having been a Prisoner of War?

It is a legitimate question to be asked about a man who wants us to allow him civilian control of our armed forces, especially of a man who chronically draws upon this experience as a way to shame any who deigns to ask him a legitimate question. Did 5 years plus in captivity affect the candidate’s faculties? His morality? His temprament? Does he have PTSD? Do loud noises make him jumpy? How many times a month does he wake up soaked in his own cold sweat and panting? Is he still angry at his captors?

As sensitive as it might seem, it’s a necessary question. This man might be President of these Untied States, and at a formative age, he spent five years in a tiger cage. And he will not allow us to forget this about him. Jay Leno didn’t get to follow up on this question, he was too busy being shamed by a heavy-handed McWeirdsmile. But somebody’s got to be allowed to follow up with “Yeah, and didn’t that make you a little nutso, John? Don’t you think a former POW might be too crazy to be President?”

There are other related questions, too, that have yet to be raised in the yellow-stream media. Like, what is up with McCain’s (and, for that matter John Kerry’s) weird stance on POW-MIA issues? This fellow, who wears a T-shirt under his vest that reads “Kiss Me, I’m A Former POW,” has worked tirelessly to keep any information he could regarding POWs under lock and key. Again, I’m not putting stock into “Manchurian Candidate” theories or stories that had McCain snuck out of his tiger cage to spend a year or two on the Riviera. But doesn’t his record on POW/MIA issues seem somewhat counterintuitive? Should not the yellow-stream press be asking about it, especially considering the high-handed way the candidate chronically insists on exploiting his former status as a POW?

And should we not consider when we bow to McWeirdsmile’s “I Was A POW So Therefore I Can Do And Say Anything And Shame On You Asshole” gambit that he’s not talking about World War II, that he’s talking about the Vietnam War, a historically sullied conflict that ended when the Untied States withdrew in disgrace? A war that was advanced largely upon the foolish, disproven “domino theory,” a theory that nonetheless continues to compel U.S. foreign policy to this very day? Do we need to use McWeirdsmile’s propensity to show us his POW ass every time he’s challenged to remind ourselves of the needless, foolish nature of the Vietnam War?

John McWeirdsmile is essentially begging for a legitimate, well-funded, and credible third-party group to reasonably question his war record in public. His chronic insistence on using his former POW status to shame any legitimate challenger provides a vastly more legitimate justification to question the man’s record than Jerry Corsi and his thugs had four years ago. Where are our “swift boaters?” America really needs them right now.

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