If we believe the reports, Impeached Preznit Carnage Slantybutt Not a Real Billionaire has at long last achieved his goal of contracting the virus called SARS-CoV-2. I say congratulations are in order because nobody in these Untied States of America has worked more diligently to catch this disease.

Just on Tuesday, when he was locked in an impassioned and eloquent debating battle with his political foe Joseph Robinette Biden Jr., the Impeached Preznit Carnage Slantybutt Not a Real Billionaire masterfully lobbed a hilarious burn across the room:

I don’t wear a mask like him. Every time you see him, he’s got a mask. He could be speaking 200 feet away from him and he shows up with the biggest mask I’ve ever seen.

In my many years of observing political debates, I do not think I have experienced such an expert zinger, especially since it elicited such a pansy-assed retort from this obviously mentally insufficient, socialist snowflake, where he started goin’ on about “CDC recommendations” and “saving lives” and all kinds of pansy-assed crap like that. What a fuckin’ pansy man, it just pisses me off.

So now, the Impeached Preznit has the COVID, as does his wife and several key advisers, including now I’m seeing on the TV Sen. Mike Lee of Utah, another guy who was recently seen breathing all over Supreme Court nominee Amy Corny Barrentt. Meanwhile, both Biden and his wife Dr. Jill Biden, as well as Campaign Energizer Bunny Sen. Kamala Harris have tested negative somehow, as if wearing masks and keeping a distance between you and other human beings somehow actually works.

Well. It is what it is.

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