T. Boone Pickins Redux

I have done a little more research into T. Boone Pickins’ so-called plan for energy independence. You will recall that when I left this subject I had concluded the plan was OK, but it was really nothing new under the sun. This is not true. The Boone Plan is less than nothing new under the sun. It’s bullshit. 

What Boone wants is for us to put a big effort…maybe even big tax breaks… into wind energy (thats where he put his money).  This will free up a lot of natural gas, he believes, which will allow us to drive natural gas vehicles and get off the oil high.

Huh? Thats it Cartman? 

Yeah, Apparently so. All we need to do is make 20 percent of our electricity from wind, then we get to drive real cheap natural gas cars, and people get to drive big assed hummers again.

Thats a solution, Cartman? Everyone gets an SUV.

Here is a real plan.

1. Keep the price of fuel high for a long time so that people will drive more efficient vehicles. (Make sure your car is tuned up and your tires properly inflated!!!)

2. Make a lot of natural gas out of sewage and cow shit.

3. Use all the wind you can get your hands on. Go for 25 percent. 30 percent.

4. Stop doing dumbass shit like mowing highway right of ways. Lease them out to farmers for hay and wheat.  Let them go to wild flowers.  Plant trees.

5. Put solar cells on every rooftop below the Mason Dixon line (I know some of you morons don’t know what that is, but you can google it.) .

6. Insulate houses, use better light bulbs, lower thermostats. Wear sweaters.

7. Encourage geothermal HVAC systems.

8. Use Public Transportation.

9. Walk, bicycle and car pool. Plan your travel.

10. Rebuild passenger rail.

Thats the Papa Bonk Plan, and it will work.

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