I am sitting down to a fine plate of Tex-Mex food and am now watching Dook just widen the gap to ten vs. West Virginia with 5:42 in the first half, and I realize that I have yet to do my duly duty by sitting down to Blog Against Theocracy.


What to write for the blog-swarm…if only there were some dramatic example I could discuss about how this country already has drifted into what Chief Hungry Freak Daddy Frank Zappa once described as a “fascist theocracy.”

Like if, say, a Mormon ran for President of These Untied States, hell, even if he ran as a Republigoat, maybe, and then he had to give a big speech, you know, justifying that he was a Mormon running for President, even though the country in question’s most revered founding document specifically says that there is no religious test for running for said office…

No, that’s a crazy example because, even though they believe that God is a man who lives in outer space, Mormons still worship the Christ and all. So that’d be silly.

Though, what if the candidate happened to be a black guy? Would both he and his opponent, say, a crotchety old white guy who can’t lift his hands over his head, would they be required as a matter of course to stick their noses up the ass of a prominent evangelist minister just to get in the door?

And, let’s say in the most unlikely event that the black guy did get elected, maybe then one of the worst insults people would think they could hurl at him would be to accuse him of being a “Muslim.” Now, THAT might be a theocracy. Maybe. But only, of course, if you factored in that most people don’t understand that Black Islam is actually a movement that is rather independent in its thought and evolution from the Islam that originated in Mecca, so that, even if the black guy was a Muslim, he might not be considered to be one of THOSE Muslims, or even if you factored in that blonde-haired, blue-eyed Christian assholes are just as capable of blowing shit up and killing people as are assholes of the brown-skinned praying faced east variety.

I know what might make you think that we lived in a theocracy. What if a Muslim actually DID get elected to our federal legislature? And then a whole bunch of people started shitting themselves about which BOOK the guy put his hand on when he took his oath?

Even though the Constitution specifically says the following on that very matter:

The Senators and Representatives before mentioned, and the Members of the several State Legislatures, and all executive and judicial Officers, both of the United States and of the several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, to support this Constitution; but no religious Test shall ever be required as a Qualification to any Office or public Trust under the United States.


Or…oh, wait, here’s one that’ll kill ya. This would NEVER happen. Like if a bunch of congressmen rented a house? And they were all big-time Christians and shit? And if the house got a tax exemption as if it were a church? And if they’d been found to be redirecting U.S. foreign policy toward bigoted, hateful policies? And if…oh, hell, I could go on and on, but Rachel does it a lot better than I do.

I dunno, Frank. I think you mighta been onto something there.

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