In Which Keith Does Rachel A Big Solid

Methinks Keith Olbermann is one smart dude.

Rachel Maddow just got a MAD long extension on her contract at MSNBC. I think Olbermann made it happen for her. My guess is he knew damned well he was doing her a favor.

Maddow is MSNBC’s highest-rated anchor, and the network was surely clamoring to keep her. Recently, Keith Olbermann has made noises about trying to poach Maddow away from MSNBC and bring her with him to Current TV. The new deal prevents any such move from happening. A source told TVNewser that the deal may extend into 2014.

I think Keith probably knew if he made such noises, MSNBC would have to pull out a nice contract for the freakishly tall anchor. And, I think it was probably fun for Keith to play a role in that.

The Lean Forward network has also committed to give Nation correspondent Chris Hayes his own show. Remember when all those assholes were throwing bricks at Air America Radio claiming that liberal broadcasting can’t possibly work?

Speaking Of Freakishly Tall, Lesbionic Grace

When Rachel Maddow first started making waves about CNN’s live-time broadcast of Michele Bachmann Overdrive’s lazy-eyed “response” to the State of the Union, we here at the imaginary think-tank the Serious Poo-Poo Institute of Technology thought she making a bit too much of it.

Then we watched Maddow’s last segment of last night’s broadcast, when she was able to report more in-depth, reflecting her objection in terms of exactly how long and how passionately CNN and the Tea Party have been dry-humping one another.

We here at the SPIT have not frankly watched CNN since around 2003, when its reporters employed pom-poms in its reporting of the illegal, immoral, and stupid invasion of Iraq by these Untied States of America. We hadn’t realized it had gotten so damned rotten over there.


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It’s almost worse than Fox “News.” At least those screwballs don’t try quite as hard to pretend.

Imus and Fox ‘News’ Deserve Each Other

First of all, let us establish early on that Don Imus is a racist blobfish.

You are probably aware of this improbable broadcast celebrity’s misogynistic, racist, bizarre, mean, and un-funny put-down of the Rutgers womens’ basketball team of 2007. Dig a little further, or become an amateur Howard Stern Show historian as I have, and you will understand that Imus’ record on howling racial epithets is a thick, well-documented file folder.

Let us also establish that Rachel Maddow is a Rhodes Scholar and a professional broadcaster whose journalistic endeavors have at times engendered levels of integrity not even approached since those days when one Walter Cronkite held a microphone. I may be hyperbole-ing all over the place here. But not by much.

So, if you must compare and contrast these two stars of radio and television, there is one stark difference between them: One is a racist asshole who cries to Al Sharpton when his decades-long rant finally looks about to cost him his stupid career. The other is an accomplished broadcaster who has actually studied social ills in college and who imparts herself consistently with integrity and grace—freakishly tall, lesbionic grace. But grace.

So how weird is this Imus explosion regarding Maddow’s immediate comments following Keef’s sudden exit at MSNBC, wherein Imus—whose signature comedy radio bit once featured a gigantic worm that would eat local school houses—calls Rachel Maddow a “coward” and “a gutless, sniveling worm?”

I mean, the whole exchange is weird. See to Imus’ wife Deidre (pronounced “dehr-dra”) call Maddow a “back-stabber.” See Imus inexplicably compare Olbermann’s sunset at MSNBC, which was precipitated by a scuttled contract negotiation, with his own, which, as noted, was precipitated by his own and his sidekick’s misogynistic, racist, bizarre, mean, and un-funny on-air comments.

This man—nay, this whole entire dais—needs to be swept off the air and evaluated by a mental health professional. Stat.