Category: If It Weren’t For My Horse

What We’re Up Against

I’m about to relate a Facebook story to you. I know. Blogging about something that happened to you on Facebook. It does not get any more nerdlinger than that. But it’s relevant.

I do post some political things to my Facebook, but I spend as little time as I can in political combat there. It’s pretty useless. I know who in my Facebook friends are tea-baggers. I know I’m not going to change their minds, and I damned sure know they aren’t changing mine. It is futile.

Sometimes, though, one of them puts something out there, you just can’t resist. Allow me to paraphrase.

She wrote something to the effect of, how stupid does Obama think we are. He’s lowered gas prices just in time for the election. Did he think we wouldn’t notice?

I ignored this statement at first. Until a friend of hers asked, how does a President lower gas prices? I was girded, having a peer now. I chimed in as well. Yes, pray tell. How?

Well, I don’t know, she replied. He just does. Please don’t tell me you don’t think the President controls gas prices.

As a matter of fact, I don’t.

Hell, I’ve defended George W. Bush on this one. There are too many factors that determine gas prices that are out of the President’s control. What’s going on in the Straits of Hormuz this week? Is it summertime, or fall? What does the futures market look like? Did Syria REALLY just bomb the crap out of Turkey? And, bloody hell, have you ever heard of supply and/or demand?

Well, she replied, you’ll just have to feel what you feel about it, and I will feel what I feel about it.

Gas prices go up every summer. Every summer, gas prices go up. Every fall, they come down. This is not how someone “feels” about this argument. It is an observable fact. Yet, people like this, people who believe that among his sworn duties, the President of the United States wakes up every morning and decides what you are going to pay for a gallon of gasoline, people like this person are going to the poll in droves in two weeks.

We’d better get out to meet them there.

The Stupidest Thing Ever Said Has Finally Been Said

Like Glenn Beck, I am nonplussed that, no matter how hard I search on YouTube and Google and the vast B-Roll archives we maintain here at the imaginary think-tank Crack Whores for Good Government, I cannot find any footage of Sen. Robert Byrd filibustering the Civil Rights Act of 1964.

It’s an outrage. Someone should invent a time machine and go back to 1964 and force a television camera into those proceedings.

Damnit Jim!

I hereby RETIRE the “If It Weren’t For My Horse” category here at KIAV. It’s useless now. I’m bleeding out my damned nose, Lewis! There goes my friggin’ aneurysm! GLENN BECK HAS AT LONG LAST SAID THE STUPIDEST THING THAT CAN EVER BE SAID. “If It Weren’t For My Horse” lives and breathes; it is no longer Lewis Black’s second-hand news. It’s like on the one hand, there’s Einstein writing “E=MC(2)” on a blackboard, and, on the other hand, BOOOOOM!

Oy Vey Iz Mir

A last thought from me regarding Helen Thomas.

I listened to Randi Rhodes yesterday defend the hell out of Thomas, saying that 27 seconds of video or audio on the YouTube shouldn’t instantly mitigate a 67-year career. I disagree, frankly.

Here is, specifically, the exchange that got Thomas “retired.”

Thomas, White House correspondent for Hearst Newspapers, showed up at the White House’s May 27 Jewish Heritage Celebration, where she gave an interview to Rabbi David Nesenoff of RabbiLive.com. Late last week Nesenoff posted a clip from the video on YouTube. Here’s the transcript:

Nesenoff: Any comments on Israel? We’re asking everybody today–
Thomas: Tell them to get the hell out of Palestine.
Nesenoff: Ooh. Any better comments?
Thomas (cackling): Remember, these people are occupied, and it’s their land, not German and not Polish.
Nesenoff: So where should they go? What should they do?
Thomas: They should go home.
Nesenoff: Where is home?
Thomas: Poland. Germany.
Nesenoff: So you’re saying the Jews should go back to Poland and Germany?
Thomas: And America, and everywhere else.

According to The Washington Post, Nesenoff was accompanied at the time by his two sons, both sporting the kippah. As noted, she was at the White House for an event that likely shadows Shavuot, a little-known holiday remembering the Old Testament events at Mount Sinai. And in that context, Helen Thomas is approached by an Ashkenazim looking fella with two boys in tow bearing yarmulkes, and she says wha? THAT THE JEWS SHOULD “GO BACK TO POLAND AND GERMANY?”

Specifically, she chose those countries specifically?

What Thomas revealed in those 27 seconds was that, despite all of her hard work and years and years of holding the noses of presidents to the grindstone, I’m sorry, but Helen Thomas has revealed that she is simply too ignorant to any longer deserve her seat in the press room. I do not think she was being hateful or anti-Semitic. I think that what Helen Thomas revealed about herself with her comments is that she is a buffoon who has gotten much farther on a tank of gas then she should have been able to.

Buh-bye Helen. Why don’t you do a little reading with your time off, dear? You should start with André Schwarz-Bart’s “The Last of the Just” and go from there. Moron.

But Dick Blumenthal Is

An avid Howard Stern fan such as myself cannot help but think of one of Stern’s classic bits these days: Stern’s Vietnam stories.

Stern, born in 1954, was just a bit on the young side to have served; he’d have been 19 in 1973. Still, Stern would regale his audience with his war stories.

Am embedding a YouTube clip below. I should warn that some of the language might offend. Duh.

Yet another example of Connecticut Democratic Senate Candidate Dick Blumenthal’s strange lies regarding his own military service has emerged. Here’s what he reportedly said at a Veteran’s Day parade in 2008:

“I wore the uniform in Vietnam and many came back . . . to all kinds of disrespect. Whatever we think of war, we owe the men and women of the armed forces our unconditional support.”

Not only is Blumenthal claiming to have been in country. He’s also claiming that a hippie spit on him when he returned.

You’ve almost got to wonder if he’s just kidding around like our good friend Howard. He really should listen and crib some of the material.

Blumenthal is insane. There is no other explanation. He is crazy. No sane person stands up in front of a crowd and claims credit for a tour of duty in Vietnam unless he’s actually waded in a rice paddy. I don’t care that it means that the Democrats abdicate a Senate seat; he really should be pulled from the race. HE IS A CRAZY PERSON. The end.

William Gheen Is An Ignorant Redneck

There are, frankly, so many kinds of stupid in the news today that it is really, really difficult to know where one should begin. I reckon I could begin with William Gheen, who is an ignorant redneck.

Gheen represents an organization called “Americans for Legal Immigration,” a political action committee which in part states as its mission the following:

We are dedicated to fighting against illegal immigration and amnesty for illegal aliens and seek a peaceful solution to the crisis that involves Americans of every race, Party, and denomination working together.

Here is Gheen, doing something that he calls “outing” U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham of South Carolina. Go on. Play it. You’ve got to see it to believe it.

Now. As Thom Hartmann explained to William Gheen today, it’s not “outing” unless you have some evidence. Otherwise, it’s just a reckless charge. And, as this writer knows from personal experience, just because a fellow is middle-aged and never married, that isn’t evidence that said fellow is teh ghey. And I fail miserably to see how making said information public true or not somehow convinces Graham to change his thinking regarding immigration reform.

Believe me, I’m no Lindsey Graham fan. This is a guy who held a press event to show people what the menu was like at Gitmo to prove that holding people there without access to a barrister was really just fine actually because mmmmmm…salmon. However, I don’t think it’s fair to ambush a guy from the closet if he’s perfectly comfortable there, and doing so in the pursuit of public policy interests is just a soft form of terrorism. Moreover, I hope I hope I hope I hope I hope that one day we’ll live in a country where whether or not a guy likes guys or gals just won’t matter anymore. It shouldn’t matter. After all, Gorge Dubya Boosh was straight as an arrow, and lookit.

Second stupid, filed under “by the time I get to Arizona…” Attention, white people in Arizona: If you choose to relinquish your rights under the Fourth Amendment, that applies to ALL OF YOU, not just to the brown-skinned people. Morons. Don’t come crying to me when Deputy Sheriff Baker decides he doesn’t like your bumpersticker and decides to have a little fun with you and you’ve allowed your governor to withdraw any recourse you might have. Duh.

Third stupid, and this is just the kind of stupid that you just want to HUG, it’s so stupid, and I’m just going to copy and paste directly from Talking Points Memo if you don’t mind:

Sue Lowden, the front-running Republican challenger to Sen. Harry Reid, yesterday doubled down on her idea that health care could be paid for using the barter system.

Last week, when Lowden suggested “that bartering is really good,” it seemed that she may have been talking about haggling prices and just had her vocab mixed up. It happens to everyone.

But yesterday, on a local news program, Lowden seemed to double down on the idea. Asked whether the statement made her seem disconnected, she shot back that it’s Reid who’s disconnected for not knowing “that this is already happening in our state.”

“Let’s change the system and talk about what the possibilities are. I’m telling you that this works. You know, before we all started having health care, in the olden days, our grandparents, they would bring a chicken to the doctor. They would say I’ll paint your house,” she said. “[That’s] what people would do to get health care with their doctors. Doctors are very sympathetic people.”

“I’m not backing down from that system,” she added.

Wow. Wow. Wow wow wow wow wow wow wow. And this woman is leading in the polls over Hairy Reed. Holy shit. We are in serious, serious trouble people.

No. HE'S the Assman.

“He’s using his opinions to try to deny care to other people. Think about it. He says that he’s concerned that the Obama plan is going to end up denying care to his patients, so he’s gonna deny care to his patients.”

Rep. Alan Grayson, regarding the palsied logic of Dr. Jackass Cassell of Florida, who last month installed a sign on the door of his practice that read “If you voted for Obama…seek urologic care elsewhere. Changes to your healthcare begin right now. Not in four years.

The Democratic 'No' Votes

Rep. John Adler (N.J.)
Rep. Jason Altmire (Pa.)
Rep. Michael Arcuri (N.Y.)
Rep. John Barrow (Ga.)
Rep. Marion Berry (Ark.)
Rep. Dan Boren (Okla.)
Rep. Rick Boucher (Va.)
Rep. Bobby Bright (Ala.)
Rep. Ben Chandler (Ky.)
Rep. Travis Childers (Miss.)
Rep. Artur Davis (Ala.)
Rep. Lincoln Davis (Tenn.)
Rep. Chet Edwards (Texas)
Rep. Stephanie Herseth Sandlin (S.D.)
Rep. Tim Holden (Pa.)
Rep. Larry Kissell (N.C.)
Rep. Frank Kratovil (Md.)
Rep. Dan Lipinski (Ill.)
Rep. Stephen Lynch (Mass.)
Rep. Jim Marshall (Ga.)
Rep. Jim Matheson (Utah)
Rep. Mike McIntyre (N.C.)
Rep. Mike McMahon (N.Y.)
Rep. Charlie Melancon (La.)
Rep. Walt Minnick (Idaho)
Rep. Glenn Nye (Va.)
Rep. Collin Peterson (Minn.)
Rep. Mike Ross (Ark.)
Rep. Heath Shuler (N.C.)
Rep. Ike Skelton (Mo.)
Rep. Zack Space (Ohio)
Rep. John Tanner (Tenn.)
Rep. Gene Taylor (Miss.)
Rep. Harry Teague (N.M.)

Thanks to The Huffington Post.

New Rule

Some of our four or so of our regular readers may find the following statement to be a bit abrasive. But, there you go.

New rule: Anyone who says, “there is no difference between Democrats and Republicans” doesn’t know what the hell he’s talking about.

I know that progressive commie liberals such as myself aren’t exactly squirting themselves at this point regarding the Obama presidency. But a person who somehow reckons that a McWeirdsmile presidency would have been just as good as what we have today?

I’m sorry, that person has gefilte fish between his ears.