You’ve Got Mail

Human beings are remarkable creatures in that we are exceptional at customizing the nature of our communication to the situation in which we find ourselves. I don’t, for instance, speak to my co-worker nor my boss in the same way I speak to my friends and family, nor in the same way I speak to that a-hole who cut me off in traffic. No, no, I have different words indeed for that fella.

So I wonder with all my heart how Hillary Clinton speaks at home, when she’s tucked her feet under her ass in her sweatsuit annd her fuzzy slippers, and she’s eating that bowl of Honey Nut Cheerios that Bill so lovingly prepared for her while she’s doing her NYT crossword and watching Ellen Degeneres on the TV. I doubt it’s the same tone she adopts when she’s constantly having to put up with stupid shit in public.

Oh mah gah! Hillary Clinton used her e-mail this way and not that way! Holy shit, the Moon is on fire!

I don’t need many details to know how much a load of stinky crappy crap this whole thing is; how utterly political it is, and I find it annoying. Because there is a story here. There is an issue here that you should actually be furrowing your brow over. Because Mrs. Clinton’s current e-mail woe is not a condition. It is a symptom, a symptom of something that the stupid tiny politics of 2016 is way too tiny a view of.

Here’s an inside, anecdotal scoop for you: When a federal agency hires a muckity-muck, a reporter should be allowed to ask for that muckity-muck-to-be’s bio and his or her salary. This is a person being hired on the taxpayer’s dime, and therefore the most basic information about these people should be printed for you to read and know. I have it on good authority, however, that of late in Washington, say, oh, the last decade or so, when you approach said federal agency to ask for this fundamental info, you’re told to get lost unless you have a FOIA request.

And yes, that’s right. I said the last decade.

Democrats can be just as bad as Republigoats regarding transparency, folks. There, I said it. And Washington D.C. has gotten much worse at this in recent years. Much worse. And yes, much of this bristling to transparency has happened under the guy who swore that sunshine is better than Lysol. And if yer just focusing on Hillary Clinton and her little homespun mainframe, then you are in the forest, buried underneath the damned trees. The problem isn’t Hillary alone. It’s the whole place deciding it can operate better with an opaque veneer around its business.

And it’s we letting them get away with that shit.

Hillary’s e-mail troubles will be out of the news cycle by Saturday, at least until the primaries heat up. In the meantime, however, reporters are having to flood federal agencies with paper to request and extract information that ought to be printed on our cereal boxes as a matter of course. That’s the real scandal.