Feet First Into the Mouth

Hat Tip: To my a recently stumbled-upon and my new favorite blog: Margaret and Helen

Ladies and gentlemen. Of all the gaffes and spooners to have taken place on the political campaign of John McWeirdsmile, this one is, sin duda, the best. It will take your breath away. I promise. Transcript follows.

I think you may have noticed that Sen. Obama’s supporters have been saying some pretty nasty things about Western Pennsylvania lately.

(Cindy nods knowingly. McWeirdsmile smiles, holds for the BOOOOOs. His glad face continues…)

And you know, I couldn’t agree with them more.

(Oh shit. Quick. Stammer through a backpedal.)

I couldn’t disagree with you. I couldn’t agree with you more than the fact that western Pennsylvania is the most patriotic, most God-loving, most patriotic part of America, and this is a great part of the country.

Biden is a gaffe machine? Biden?

It’s bad enough that these buttholes feel the need to resort to parochial ass-kissing* amalgmated with race-baiting and patriotic lynch-mobbing. But when the candidate can’t even get through the simplest of parochial pandering without screwing it up completely, you are officially a campaign with problems. Big ones.

* Yes, I know Obama does it, too. He was caught applauding the Rays in Florida and applauding the Phillies in Pennsylvania, both, shocker, swing states. But I’ve not heard the arguement from Obama that there are special patriotic, God-loving pockets tucked away in the nooks and crannies of America. This appeal from the McWeirdsmile side is one part a flat-out insult to the intelligence of human beings and one part goose-stepping fascism.

Now, many pundits last night were giggling about Prudence Palin’s assertion recently in response to a question from a third grader that the vice president is “in charge” of the Senate. There are two things about this that bear mentioning.

There are two answers to the question, “what does a vice presdent do, all day?” There is the third-grade civics answer, and there is the real answer. The third-grade civics answer is the one Palin needed to haul out yesterday. “The Vice President becomes president if, God forbid, something happens to the President. She also presides ceremonially over the Senate and can break a tie. The end.” Instead, she attempted to give the real answer to a third-grade civics question and didn’t do it very well. That she doesn’t know in that context to stick to the basic civics book definition in that situation is mind-boggling.

It also belies that it’s not enough to ridicule Palin’s claim. Because she’s not making it out of sheer ignorance. It’s what she thinks. It’s what she believes. Prudence Palin believes in a unitary Vice President. I think she really believes that Vice President Palin (AUGH!) would be “in charge of the U.S. Senate so if they want to they can really get in there with the senators and make a lot of good policy changes that will make life better for Brandon and his family and his classroom.”

Well, our founding fathers were very wise there in allowing through the Constitution much flexibility there in the office of the vice president. And we will do what is best for the American people in tapping into that position and ushering in an agenda that is supportive and cooperative with the president’s agenda in that position. Yeah, so I do agree with him that we have a lot of flexibility in there, and we’ll do what we have to do to administer very appropriately the plans that are needed for this nation.

Palin actually believes that the Constitution grants the Veep broad powers, and I think she’s been coached to believe so. I believe the party is trying with her to institutionalize the fat-handed power grab made by the current occupant of that office. Frankly, I think it’s neither her apparent dimness nor her lack of experience that makes her a dangerous candidate for the office. I think that she’s such a blank slate, that’s the real danger.

It’s why they picked her, by the way.

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