John McCain Is A Douchebag

The nice thing about being Sen. John McCain this week is that you personally get to symbolize everything that is wrong with the American occupation of Iraq.

How could anyone manage to appear more foolish than the current president? But McCain has somehow managed to out-chimp the Chimp.

I don’t have to rehash the headlines for ya. McCain went to Iraq accompanied by 100 Marines, 2 Black Hawks and a couple heavily armored HUMVs and then he says gee, it sure is great that I can walk down the street!

But that’s not why he’s a douchebag. He’s a douchebag because of what he’s told 60 Minutes about it (to air this Sunday).

“Of course I am going to misspeak and I’ve done it on numerous occasions and I probably will do it in the future. I regret that when I divert attention to something I said from my message, but you know, that’s just life.”

John. Dude. The problem isn’t that you “misspoke.” In fact, douchebag, you didn’t misspeak. To “misspeak” means the person said something by mistake. You didn’t misspeak, douchebag. That’s the problem. You honestly believed what you were saying while the words were coming out of your mouth, believed that you weren’t being ambushed because the “surge” is working, not because you were surrounded by a SWAT team.

Can we please strike the word “misspeak” from the English language? It has become one of those Washington Weasel Words, seldom used correctly, mostly used to make you look one way while the fella’s pulling something out of his sleeve.

Regardless of whether John McCain is a douchebag, whether the “surge” is “working” or whether all its actually doing is staving off the inevitable all-out civil war in Iraq, here’s the point: I don’t give a rat’s ass. The only way to have “won” the Iraq War or to have “succeeded in Iraq” was not to have invaded in the first place. We lost when we went in, and no surge and no douchebag running for prez and no pullout and nothing is ever going to change that. Congress is wasting its time and resources trying to dictate policy from the Hill. Get out your investigators’ caps, kids. Start digging. Find out who did what when and why. The more effluent you dig up regarding the conduct of this war, the more horrified the American People will become, and the more likely they will be to send a lot more folks to Congress next time who oppose this stupid occupation.

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