Libby

In the office at my day-job, the e-mail is generally reserved for business. However, when you’re a block from K Street in Washington, D.C., some pol on your staff is bound to forward on the big ones. Thus, yesterday, a co-worker forwarded the Libby verdict news at 12:22 p.m.

Five minutes later, another shot back: And yet, nobody has even been charged with intentionally identifying Plame. Five minutes. Five freakin’ minutes of peace and quiet before some dummy in my office piped up with that little fact bender.

No, sir, nobody has been charged, specifically. Yet. Because someone was, how you say, lying, perjuring, and obstructing justice, thus the conviction on the counts of “lying, perjury, and obstruction of justice.” Look, I don’t know about you, but as an American, I’d like someone to keep sniffing around about this. Hello? All signs point to yes, the current vice-president, who specifically told voters that his crew, and not the competition, was the right choice to keep America safe from the evil-doers, led a deliberate effort to show a CIA operative to the world because her husband dared to write what he knew in a newspaper. And, by the by, don’t give me that guff about how she wasn’t no CIA operative, that she just had a desk job and just sharpened pencils and made coffee. I don’t care if she mopped the floor. You don’t write about or discuss an agent’s employment. I’ve got a federal agent in my family, should I write to the Post about it? Stupid asshat Novak. Why isn’t he breaking bricks somewhere?  

I personally think that if your curiosity about the subject shuts down at “well nobody was actually charged” regarding this issue, you should be compelled by law to retake your citizenship test. This isn’t a partisan issue and it’s not a crusted stain on a pretty blue dress. It’s yet another sign that the folks who barked the loudest about providing national security didn’t. So I hope you’re practicing cowering under your desks because duck-and-cover may just be all we’ve got left.

Incidentally, speaking of caked DNA: Liberals, arm up for the inevitable comparisons to the Bill Clinton impeachment. I know and you know that anyone who finds the two to be alike probably also scalds themselves in the shower a lot, but it always comes back with these people to “buh-buh-but Clinton!” Don’t forget: Clinton was impeached for obstruction of justice and perjury. But he was NOT convicted. He was acquitted. Which is the opposite of what Lewis Libby was.

There are many things that could and will happen next. Libby’s legal team is already planning to ask for a new trial, and, failing that, an appeal. The Wilsons are readying their civil suit. And somewhere, in an underground bunker, the current vice president is lying in a coffin and planning his next steps as well.

(“#1 Douchebag” graphic stolen shamelessly from Comedy Central’s The Daily Show.)