Do It All For The Nookie

Ladies, leave the room for a second. I need a word with the guys. Thanks.

Are they gone? Excellent.

Fellas, I’d like to talk to you about contraception.

Now, don’t make that face. This is something you might not have considered.

If the ongoing war on contraception in this country is successful — and believe me, the assault on Griswold v. Connecticut that was discussed on this blog many years ago and since is well under way — you fellas are in for a whole lotta hurt.

Because if the pill is less readily available, if contraception is not as easy to pick up as is pack of gum (albeit much much more expensive), if Rick Santorum gets his way, then you’re not going to get laid nearly as often or as much.

There, I said it.

Nope, you’ll be back on the couch with a bag of frozen peas on your nuts by 9 p.m. instead of being naked in some broad’s apartment, spent and wondering how soon or how elegantly you’ll be able to slither out of there so you can catch the game with the boys.

If the pill dries up, so does “free love,” gents. That’s all there is to it.

So if the fact that the pill isn’t actually abortion and that these fascists are trying to say so nonetheless to push some twisted puritanical agenda isn’t enough to bother you, or if the fact that, in fact, contraception IS health care and should be allotted as such does not inspire you, keep this in mind.

If Rick Santorum and his weird chorus of crusaders against contraception succeed, it’s Tiddlywinks dates for you from here on out.

Fight the real enemy.

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