A Few Thoughts Regarding The Republigoat Nominating Process To Date

I have yet to put down any words here regarding the Republigoats and their attempt to select a nominee to run for Preznit of these Untied States of Amurka. I should of course mention that on the subject I am relatively uninformed, as I have not been able to bring myself to sit down and watch a single of the several thousand debates that have taken place.

I would rather sit through an entire episode of “American Idol.” Live.

Fortunately, however, uninformed seems to be the way to go if you’re a voter in these Untied States or if you want to open up your pie-hole and express an opinion. So, for commentary on the Republigoat Preznitdential race, I am just as qualified as your Uncle Stu who farts at church and thinks nobody notices.

First, can we stop saying that Mitt Romney is the “presumptive nominee?” That’s nonsense, for one thing. It is way too early in the race to be placing that shitty crown on anybody’s head. They’re just about to start primaries in the mid-Atlantic states, and everyone’s all like oh, Mitt’s the guy, Mitt’s the guy. The current Preznit did not pick up steam until he hit the south. Until then, everyone’s all like oh, Hillary’s the guy, Hillary’s the guy. Way too early to tell.

Besides, we don’t want these assholes to have a nice clean selection process. We want them to have a bloody mess. We want to send them into a brokered convention. I want them limping and pulling shards of broken glass out of their face when they get to Tampa. It is tempting, even for those of us who just fucking hate the Republigoat Party, to want a clear winner. It’s human nature to want a horse to break out of the pack. But that’s not the endgame we need to see. I want feats of strength contests over every single last delegate. The muddier this contest remains, the better.

I also find the feeble character of this selection process to be utterly reassuring. By this time in the Democratic selection process in 2008, it was clear that there were three candidates whom Democrats really liked. We would have gotten behind either Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama, or John Edwards (thank gravity we did not get behind John Edwards; what a mess). At this point in the Republigoat process, it seems that this party cannot find even one candidate that they won’t have to hold their nose to approve. This is simply because they don’t have anyone.

And the candidate they do end up with is going to have a big job in front of him. I have a theory about Mr. Obama, the theory being that he will wear the cape of incumbency well. Mitt Romney found it difficult to appear presidential on a stage with John McBombBomb. Newt Gingrinch won’t pass the Nixon-Kennedy scowl test. Rick Santorum took his dead infant child home with him and made his own children play Red Rover with it. And the issues will not stack up for this “party” either. Foreign policy is off the table because this President has been utterly successful in that arena. The economy is as I type showing true signs of growth despite the best efforts of the Republigoats, so domestic issues will be a tough nut to crack. Even the time-honored tactic of telling wretched, superstitious lies about your opponent will be difficult to do, at least on the debating stage when the man is there to refute the charges that he’s a socialist Muslim communist bastard who was born in Kenya.

No, things are looking up, I think, for those of us with few other choices then to support the Democratic party. I think Obama is damn near impossible to beat in 2012. One can only hope that his coat-tails will bring us more Democrats, and by that I mean REAL DEMOCRATS, not these blue-dog idiots, into the House and Senate so the man can really get some work done.

So say we all.

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