Dear The Huffington Post

I went to Journalism School. So I spent a good deal of my time studying headline writing. Not just style. I used to write headlines when you actually had to think on paper about how long the headline had to be.

Your headlines suck. Your headlines suck so horribly that if they were a physical object, I would like to piss on them. And then I would like to stomp on them after I have pissed on them.

Headlines should inform. They should not tease. They should not be cute, and they should not be mysterious. What is up with the Huffington Headline Hieroglyphs? Your current lead headline says “END OF THE WORLD.” What the fuck are you talking about? I know you’re not actually talking about THE end of THE world. But I don’t know what the fuck you are actually saying. You have written a completely nebulous headline. Congratulations.

Dear The Huffington Post, I am glad you are here. Your presence and your success has proven that liberal media can work.

But you might want to consider hiring some journalists.

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