I Killed Osama bin Laden and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

Poor George W. Bush.

The man’s greatest moment as “President” of these Untied States was when he was standing on a pile of rubble that he himself allowed to be created with his arm thrown around some hapless, tired fireman, yelling empty threats into a bullhorn. It’s kind of funny to watch now because if I were that fireman I’d be really annoyed.

Bush probably has better aim at the toilet than he does with this bullhorn. This guy probably not only has black lung and weird auto-immune issues, but he’s probably deef in one ear as well::

The guy’s most brilliant ad-lib ever! Probably ever in his life! And, guess what? It’s a completely empty threat.

George W. Bush said directly and many times that he would get us some justice for September Eleventh. He failed. Miserably and pathetically, he failed. He got us into two wars, only one of which was even tangentially related to this vicious event. He got justice, all right, on a guy who had nothing to do with it, on an entire nation that had nothing to do with it. He couldn’t touch Osama bin Laden. Couldn’t touch him to the point that his strategy became to simply deny that bin Laden was any longer important.

Remember, the only reason anyone thought bin Laden was of any importance was because Bush swaggered around with his cock out telling everyone how god-damned vital it was that we smoked this prick out of his hole. He’s the reason bin Laden was the most hunted man in the world, and now hie’s like, oh, nevermind? How sour are those grapes, do you reckon?

The contrast is astounding. Watch then candidate Obama during the debates:

Or, better yet, listen:

There is no swagger in his position. It is a simple statement of a straightforward, sensible foreign policy aim: If we get bin Laden or other terrorist leaders in our sights, and if they happen to be in Pakistan, and if Pakistan is unable or unwilling to allow us to take them out, then screw them, we’re going to shoot anyway.

Guess what happened?

There’s your contrast. One preznit stands on a pile of rubble and makes empty, foolish promises he directly contradicts six months later. The other made a manageable, sensible promise that he kept. He said he was going to do something, and he did what he said he was going to do. I don’t know about you, but I find that refreshing.

Now you have Republigoats this week making all kinds of statements about how Bush was actually the one responsible for getting bin Laden. I think there’s an argument to be made for that, actually, though I don’t think it’s an argument that Peter “It’s All Over But The Counting” King is going to like.

Of course Bush is responsible for nailing bin Laden. He’s the one who made doing so necessary in the first place.

Bush is the one who elevated this guy to the lofty position he came to occupy. Bush is the one who invented bin Laden into the anti-Jesus guy. Bush could have coolly downplayed bin Laden’s role, could have treated him like the two-bit shit-head that he was, but the guy we had to kill was George Bush’s invention. And once Bush created bin Laden and failed to sniper his ass, Obama had no choice but to get the job done.

So thanks, George Bush. You really are responsible for the death of Osama bin Laden. Nice going, you feckless jackass.

Like PB, I am concerned about Obama’s plan to visit Ground Zero; there’s something unsettling about it; it smacks of opportunism, of “Mission Accomplished.” I suspect Obama doesn’t want to do it but he’s being strong-armed into it by his handlers. I think the more appropriate thing for him to do would be to just announce that this thing was done as he did on Sunday, and then just get the hell on with his presidency.

I just hope he doesn’t wear a codpiece.

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