Which Came First?

Question…what’s the most complete protein you can eat without chomping into a beast’s leg?

It ain’t tofu. That’s got an amino acid score of 68. Whole milk’s is 85. Raw spirulina draws an impressive 103.

An egg grabs a 134, only 20 points down from a steak.

An egg is also rich in B vitamins, and in fact is one of the richest sources of riboflavin, B12, and choline, nutrients that can stave off dementia. An egg has a quarter of a day’s worth of calcium, is rich in selenium, and are also abundant in lutein and zeaxanthin, minerals which are good for your eyeballs. An egg is one of the few food sources available that naturally contains vitamin D.

Also, what I think few people know about eggs is that, when they are fresh, and I mean right out of the ass of a chicken, they are one of the most delicious things you have ever eaten.

Not to mention, without eggs, there would be no cake, no bread, no meatballs, no tiramisu. An egg is such a basic ingredient that many of your favorite dishes just wouldn’t exist if they didn’t.

Eggs are awesome. And in the food world, they’re nearly oxygen. And we live in a country now that’s too godammed stupid to make sure that they’re safe to eat.

It’s the same story we hear time and time again. A large corporation doesn’t do business right and the government nags at them for years and years. But the big corporation pays the fines as part of the cost of doing business. Then, the business’ improper business practices cause American taxpayers to get sick or to die, either from poison in our food or as the result of a horrible terrible “accident.”

You know, I hear it a lot. You liberals. You always want to do nothing else but blame Republigoats for everything. Read the comments on the Will Bunch blog entry I referenced yesterday. Jesus, they wrote, Reagan’s been out of office for years, and you’re still blaming him for shit?

Here’s the thing, though: This isn’t about Republigoat versus Demmycrat. It’s not. It’s much, much bigger than that.

We’re not fighting Republigoats. We’re fighting a school of thought.

There’s a theory out there that says there’s a mythical, beautiful animal loose and in the wild, and that it’s the most beautiful golden unicorn you’ve ever seen, a shade of color previously not experienced by the human eye, and that its face looks exactly like that of Halle Berry, and that it will blow you if you want it too and that it poops gold bullions in any shape you ask it too, and this lovely animal is called the “free market.” And, the theory goes, if you just leave this beautiful animal free in the wild to do whatever it wants to do, everything will be amazing and perfect and beautiful and even that annoying wart on your thumb will just go away.

And they’ve been telling and retelling the story of this beautiful mythical creature for so long and so effectively that it’s not only become believed, but it’s become the bulk of our intellectual firmament. I mean, once upon a time even in my lifetime, believe it or not, the federal government used to have some heft when it came to regulation and enforcement. For instance, once upon a time, the federal government told a big corporation called Ma Bell that it was too fucking big and that it would have to split up, and Ma Bell did. And, by the way, that turned out to have been a pretty good idea.

Now, though, our intellectual discourse has converted “freedom” into “corporate America’s right to do bidness.” And they’ve got us so convinced of this way of thinking that you’ve got people in the streets not against a war but to stick up for the big corporations. And that’s just weird.

Because it’s big corporate recalcitrance that has made it today so that you have to worry over if those eggs you bought at Safeway might make you shit water. And it’s a lame federal government that simply ain’t watching out for you anymore.

This is exactly what you “get the government out of my Medicare” assholes are asking for.

Enjoy your stomach cramps.

2 thoughts on “Which Came First?”

  1. The truth about the beautiful animal that the GOOP is loath to disclose is that it shits great, massive stinking piles that someone has to clean up from time to time.

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