History’s made today! Yay! Longest. War. Evar. Eight Years and Eight Months! Take that, Vietnam!

Wouldn’t it be great if President Obama could simply admit what I think is true, that he made a commitment to Afghanistan for cynical political reasons, because for some reason, you can’t get elected to the White House as a Democrat these days unless you sign on to the bipartisannally stupid idea that never-ending war is awesome.

It’s so weird. Presidents are not allowed to campaign on the promise of peace anymore. You know what presidents campaigned on the promise of peace? Liberal commie homo ones like Dwight Eisenhower and Richard Mailbox Noxin, that’s who. Nowadays, though, if you’re running for President, it’s all “I wanna see blood and gore and guts and veins in my teeth…eat dead burnt bodies…” and whatnot.

The war in Afghanistan is intractable, folks. There’s no winning to be had. We’re never going to find UBL. And regardless, it’s just a continuation of the classically awful foreign policy stance that we’re gonna “fight ’em over there so we don’t have to fight ’em over here.”

On that note, it’s time to note the untimely retirement of Helen Thomas.

That’s right, yet another person’s entire career has been run off the road by the YouTube, apparently. Thomas flapped her gums about Israel and said something very very stupid, and now out she goes. One could argue that she’s past her prime, but considering that she was recently the only reporter with the balls to confront President Obama about our presence in Afghanistan during a recent press conference, I’d say we’re losing a hell of a great resource, perhaps the last reporter with the actual nuts to put it to the POTUS. Let’s raise a glass and remember what I think was her finest moment:

[George W. Bush] is the worst President ever. He is the worst President in all of American history.

And that’s the way it is.

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