Lord, Hear My Prayer

Since I’m at a hotel this week, I get to read the USA Today, America’s favorite short-attention-span news delivery vehicle.

There is a story in there on page 6D about how Franklin Graham of the Jesus Grahams is all upset and junk because the Pentagon has nixed his plans to have a prayer meeting in the Pentagon.

You know. The building where they plan all the wars. That’s an excellent place to pray.

If President Obama fails to intervene to allow controversial evangelist Franklin Graham to lead a National Day of Prayer event Thursday inside the Pentagon, “it will be a slap in the face of all Christians,” Graham said Tuesday.

Graham says that if his rescinded invitation is not restored—bear in mind, it was rescinded because Graham is an exclusionist scumbag—he will stand outside of the Pentagon and pray.

Here’s where MY prayer comes in.

Dear Lord. Please, while Mr. Graham is praying, please let the Pentagon break from its foundation, rise, and hover in the sky. Please, Lord, let Franklin Graham finally accomplish what Abby Hoffman never did. Lord, let Franklin Graham inadvertently levitate said Pentagon, bringing joy into the hearts of all of us wannabe Yippies everywhere. Amen.

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