Let's Commemorate The Confederacy Right

Elections have consequences.

We’ve certainly seen that statement ring true here in Virginia. Since the Democrats decided that they didn’t really care about winning the governor’s seat in 2008 and ran a candidate against Bob McDonnell who hadn’t been able to successfully defeat him for attorney general, we’ve seen the McDonnell administration do everything it can to reinstate discriminating against homosexuals in the state, and we’ve seen them submit perhaps the stupidest budget this side of the Mississippi. Now, though, with this whole Confederacy Appreciation Month proclamation doohickey, I think that Bob McDonnell has really hit on something. And I’d like to help, I hope with the help of my Dear Old Dad, who’s read more about the Civil War than I’ve ever read about everything.

I thought I would start with this commemoration of Confederacy Appreciation Month with a lovely quote from Southern historian Shelby Foote:

I think that the North fought that war with one hand behind its back…If there had been more Southern victories, and a lot more, the North simply would have brought that other hand out from behind its back. I don’t think the South ever had a chance to win that War.

That’s right, I’d like to start my commemoration of Bob McDonnell’s Republigoat Confederacy Appreciation Month by noting as blithely as I can that the Confederacy LOST. And it didn’t just lose. It got its ASS KICKED. HA HA. HA HA HA. Suck on that, you hillbilly crackers.

Yep. On April 9, 1865, Robert E. Lee SURRENDERED to Ulysses S. Grant at Appomattox. Lee was all like, “sorry, dude. I suck.” And Grant was all like “Yeah, dude. You do suck. And I’m so cool, BOOYAH!” And then Grant was all like, dude, you gotta wear a funny hat now and sit in the corner! And you gotta lick my taint! C’mon, Bobby! Lick it! Lick my taint! BOOYAH!

That is exactly what happened. And I am so glad that our wonderful governor here in Virginia has offered us the opportunity to commemorate historic events. We shall endeavor perhaps in future days to discuss a few other historic moments to help him celebrate Confederacy Appreciation Month as we go.

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