Sex Scandals Are Still Fun
Nothing like a good sex scandal involving politics or priests. Now it’s my own congressman putting on the most embarrassing denial since Larry Craig claimed never to have been gay. I am not especially enjoying this one, but on the whole, try as the GOOP will to make the current round belong to the Democratic Party, we win these battles.
The real tragedy of Eric Massa (who I know personally) is that he was a damn good congressman, a hard working Progressive who took principled stands on tough issues… like Afghanistan and single payer health care. He, like Larry Craig, is in many ways a victim of a culture that causes many citizens to suppress their true selves. If Eric Massa ran again as a gay man I would be there running with him.
Eric made a few big mistakes in bowing out… pointing fingers at Nancy and Rahm, for example. But he also pulled off a major coup… getting on Glennn’s Moron Show for an entire hour. Once inside the viper’s nest, he gave Beck nothing useful and managed to score a couple of points. He said a good first step towards fixing Washington’s problems would be for the GOOP to stop lying about the facts. He also suggested there would be no real solutions until we had real campaign finance reform. No one has ever been able to say anything quite so true on Fox News without being censored or shouted down. Beck, who is preprogrammed by his handlers to spew facist silliness for hours at a time… was left speechless.
Johnny Boner is trying to make Massa’s story read like 2006, when it was discovered that the GOOP leadership had been covering up Mark Foley’s forays into the Senate Page’s dormitory for years. Massa has not been on the Hill for years, and the matter was sent to the Ethics Committee as soon as it was clear that there was really an issue to be investigated.
Of course, Massa is gone and Larry Craig is still in the Senate. So is David “Whore House” Vetter, and John “Man your Wife is Hot” Ensign. (There is an investigation ongoing about Ensign’s payoff to the cuckholded aid, but none into his groping of his staffer’s wife.) On the whole having them stay around is a net gain for the good guys. Every time Vetter takes a stand, we can remind the world that he likes to get his bone polished by whores. Larry Craig does not speak out for fear of someone talking about his wide stance (which is, face it, a weirder story even than tickle fighting). John Ensign gives us a wonderful way to remind the world of the evil conspiracy of C Street, where Ensign was living when he was boning the lady. C Street is owned by The Family, a Christofacist Sect that has the support of many top politicos, and which helped cover up Ensign’s little problem. (Allegheny Mark Sanford also found comfort there, and its members have been involved in promoting homophobic genocide in Africa.)
At any rate, we close out the week with two new sex scandals in the GOOP. California State Senator Ray Ashburn, a notorious gay basher and supporter of Proposition 8, was caught drunk driving with a young man in his car after leaving a gay bar. One hardly needs to say more, except that this guy actually came out and admitted he is gay. (Maybe Massa should take note.)
Equally interesting is the disclosure by Utah House Majority Leader Kevin Garn that he once went skinny dipping with a 14-year-old girl. He did not bone her, but he and his wife did pay her $150,000 to keep her mouth shut. The child (now 40) and Mr Garn have now gone public. (I believe he is the son of former Senate Banking Committee Chair Jake Garn whose drive to deregulate got us where we are today. ) Seems to me that Mr. Garn’s real lack of judgement was paying the bribe, not not boning the child. Another one bites the dust, one way or another.