Somebody Owes Us An Apology

Attention, Rudolpho Giuliani, Mary Matalin, and Dana Perino: The three of you owe Papa Bonk and I a personal apology.

In the last several weeks, it is clear that you three have been on the television trying out a brand new right-wing propaganda tactic, that of trying to realign the historical record to read that, actually, no terrorist attacks whatsoever occurred on the watch of Gorge W. Boosh. Here’s what Rudolpho said just this week on Good Morning Amurka:

We had no domestic attacks under Boosh. We had one under Obama.

He actually said this. On television. And George Snuffleupagus DIDN’T INTERRUPT HIM. Good God, George. STOP SNIFFING GLUE.

(“Looks like I picked the wrong time to quit sniffing glue…” Heh.)

This statement came from Rudolpho “A verb, A noun, 9/11” Giuliani. It is stunning. Stunning. It nearly drives one to want to pull an Artie Lange.

Now, listen, you three, as I said, you all owe PB and I a personal apology. Because we were here, in Gorge Boosh’s home town at the time*, on Sept. 11, 2001. And I saw the smoke myself as I walked home to Arlington, and PB felt the damned walls shake. We didn’t lose as much as some nor did we witness as much as others. But we were here, and we witnessed it, and we can tell you with full certainty that SEPTEMBER ELEVENTH HAPPENED WHILE GEORGE WALKER BUSH WAS THE PRESIDENT.

As did the anthrax attacks.

As did the shoe bomber.

I will accept my apology now. Assholes.

*And no, I do not mean Crawford, Texas.

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