We are well aware that this space, the official weblog of the imaginary think tank Crack Whores for Good Government, a subsidary of the Serious Poo-Poo Institute of Technology, has not been any fun lately. It’s actually been pretty pissed off. This is of course because we have been living in dread and fear that the Democratic Party might very well in 2008 find a way to lose the Presidency in an environ that has never ever ever, no never ever, been more ripe and juicy for its taking by our party. A CBS Poll wrapped up June 3 shows The Current President’s approval ratings at 25 percent, which means only the most deluded, the ones who have not been able to rid themselves of the jagged, horrid, rusty, poisonous suppository that is used to corrupt Republigoats, that travels from their ass through their entire bloodstream, leaving behind shards of poison and bad ideas, and ending up in the brain, where it severs the corpus collosum and implants the text of “Atlas Shrugged,” poop, and the hallucination that Ann Coulter is hot, only they consider this “Presidency” to be of any merit. Our terror was that, even with this set of circumstances, the Democrats might fail to pull it out, thanks in large part to Monster Tweety’s weird, self-absorbed (Hillary Clinton is so self-absorbedâ€”she is actually made of exactly one-half water and one-half paper towel), self-consuming ambition. So, no, this webspace has not been too much fun of late. Not even for the editoral “we” of CWFGG.
However, now, the terror has been completely abated. There is no way in bloody hell that the Democrats don’t win the White House. Just look at the nominees. Just look at that feeble, withering old man compared to the young, virile, powerful candidate we’re running. The contrast is stunning. And, now that he is free of the tethers of having to face the female Lieberman of his own party, Mr. Obama can more confidently don the Nominee Jacket. He can begin to assume the role of Potential Chief Executive of the Untied States of Amerca. Now, when he says “when I am President,” it won’t sound nearly as pandering or contrived. It will sound actually possible.
He’s already doing it, too. As Dr. Maddow pointed out last evening, Mr. Obama took a brilliant and well-received argument for a Democratically-led muscular-but-diplomatic foreign policy to one of the hard-corest acronyms of them all, AIPAC. That his vision for this nation’s foreign policy was so well-received by that organizationâ€”compared to the crickets heard when John McWeirdsmile addressed themâ€”is so utterly heartening. It means Obama is ready and able to demonstrate what we’ve been writing about him for a long, long time, that the “experience” rap on him is utter, useless horseshit; that, actually, international relations is going to be an incredible strength for Mr. Obama, not a weakness. Incidentally, the effusive reaction of the foreign press over his nomination is a good indication of this as well.
Yessireebob, it is clear that, somehow, the Democratic Party has for once done good. I suspect that as Obama performs in these next 150 or so days, the Party will be surprised at itself for its own good fortune, and that the Harriet Christians of the world will find themselves without a leg to stand on.
Mark it in a calendar: Barack Obama is going to kick John McCain’s ass in November.