Thank You, Pat Buchanan

For awhile, several group house incarnations back, I had my Tivo upstairs (I refuse to capitalize the “v” on sheer principal). I thought I could share the glory of the thing with the group of the group house, you know? So it was an odd comment by that then sort of dumb housemate, who chided me for having “that show with those old guys on it talking politics” on my season pass. That show, “The McLaughlin Group,” has been must-see-TV for this amateur wonk for many, many years. You should have seen me when the Group came to my college campus to speak to our journalism class one year. You’d have thunk even Freddie ‘The Beadle’ was Lou Reed. It was awesome.

And it is still so. My lady friend, she can’t watch it because all the yelling sets off her epilepsy. But of all the talking pundit puppet head shows every weekend, it’s gotta be The Group. And, often when I’m watching it, I register a great deal of surprise about how reasonable Pat Buchanan—who at the 1992 Republigoat Convention declared religious and culture war in America—seems. Mostly, he seems reasonable because he agrees that the invasion and occupation of Iraq was and is foolish.

Occassionally, though, Buchanan reminds me of exactly what he is. Yes, there’s been fire on these internets regarding his column about how much better off black people are and that “they” should thank “us” for throwing their great grandaddies into the slave ships in the first place. That was friggin’ awful, but he did himself one better on The Group this week.

They were of course discussing Rev. Wright. He was arguing that Obama should have more harshly denounced Wright. Eleanor asked him if he had denounced all the priests involved in the child abuse scandal. Buchanan replied: “All this gay stuff? Sure!”

You see, what bothered Buchanan about that episode—for which I still think America owes Sinead O’Connor an immense apology—wasn’t that men of the cloth usurped the power of their positions to exploit and hurt children. Nor was his problem that the Catholic faith forces its clergy into the unnatural state of sexual repression, making said pedophillic adventures somewhat of an eventuality. No sir, Buchanan’s problem with it is that he thinks it was, well, gay.

So if the priests had been hitting up 12-year-old girls in their congregations for ass, that would have been okay, Pat?

Thank you, Pat Buchanan, for occassionally reminding me of just exactly what it is that you are. It is indeed a fantastic public service.

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