Based on a True Story

The Republigoat Congressman left the hall after having called a procedural vote during a memorial for the late Rep. Tom Lantos. The man approached him with his box.

“Here,” said the man. “Poop in this.”

“What?” asked the Congressman. “Why would I poop into that?”

“Because this box is magic. Because if you poop into this box, your guys will rule the White House for 100 years and eventually do away with the three branches government completely, replacing it with a wholly theocratic corporate fascist state run exclusively by the cloned polyp cells of Jeb Bush,” said the man.

“Wow, that sounds great!” said the Republigoat Congressman. He yanked down his pants. Then he heard a whimper from the inside. “What’s in the box?”

“Puppies,” said the man.



The Republigoat Congressman shrugged and dropped a nice big load into the box.

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