A Timeline To Ponder On The Eve Of Memorial Day

There is a brief paragraph that goes around in my head these days regarding current events and recent American history. The paragraph delineates a timeline, one that I have been certain of for many moons but that has been rendered indisputable and more solidly concrete with recent events.

It might be good to consider this timeline considering that tomorrow, there will almost certainly be photographs of Dick “Dick” Chaney laying a wreath somewhere. We here at the Serious Poo-Poo Institute of Technology® are simply amazed that any wreath he lays doesn’t simply erupt into flame immediately.

The timeline in my head: President Bill Clinton is pursued on a variety of trumped up charges by insane people who clinch their teeth whenever they speak his name, mostly probably because President Bill Clinton gets more pussy than any of them could ever imagine. I am just speculating. One ridiculous charge sticks: He lied about sex. On that one silly charge they can hang a million silly hats. To this day, say “Bill Clinton” in front of a conservative. I guarantee you he will not be able to resist joking about Clinton and women and cigars and the blue dress.

Based on Monigate, the newly-appointed Bush administration could declare it opposite day in America. They are warned by transition team officials that international terrorism might be their biggest dread. The warnings are largely ignored in favor of a general consensus to fight the Cold War all over again and, as was likely discussed though we’ll never know in Chaney’s super-duper top-secret energy meetin’s, to go get all of that frickin’ oil. But the Bush Administration could turn its back on the Israeli peace process, could abrogate treaties, could and should, according to their wisdom, do everything the opposite of how that dumb bubba did it, because, you know…he got a blow job.

Except that Sandy Berger was right, and so was Richard Clarke, whose hair was so on fire that he’s still working on getting it back, and September Eleventh happened, and the fact is that this President and this Vice President were taken largely by surprise despite ample warnings, including a crystal-clear PDB a month before. But they weren’t taken unawares for long. It likely took Chaney ten minutes once he found his shoes to begin figuring that the thing to do was to tie this thing around Saddam Hussein’s flabby neck. Clarke reports that Chaney and Rumfuck immediately began seeking targets in Iraq. Paul O’Neil had reported they’d already been discussing Iraq from day one. It’s clear from every document that surfaces that they wanted to invade Iraq and that on September Eleventh, they saw nothing but an opportunity they could seize to get ‘er done.

We have of course covered this timeline before here at KIAV. But there’s new data available that illuminates what we knew before.

Like, isn’t it funny that all of these “enhanced interrogation” sessions appear to have occurred during the buildup of at the early part of the illegal, unnecessary invasion and occupation of Iraq? You know, before they completely gave up on the Iraq connection justification for war and moved to other things? It’s also funny how documentation continues to emerge directly linking Chaney and other upper echelon a-holes directly to said “techniques,” and stating that these “techniques” were not meant so much to elicit information about ongoing plots but instead were to LINK 9/11 TO IRAQ.

They knew their strongest case to make for this foolish incursion was to link Iraq to this heinous, unspeakable attack on the United States. And what we now know, what we know on paper and as fact, is that they went to sadly inhuman lengths to attempt to make that connection, a connection that simply was not there.

I would like to rehash something here that I wrote in December 2006.

There are three important basic questions that the American people can ask Failed Former President George W. Bush about Iraq. They are:

#1: Well, what the hell did you do that for?

#2: Well, if you’re going to go ahead and do that, then don’t you think you ought to at least do it correctly, you dumb asshole?

#3: What the hell do we do now?

Some people, including President Barack Obama, think you can answer questions #2 and #3 without bothering to even try to answer question #1. I disagree.

As more of this sludge makes its way to the surface, I think we learn hard that much of our “going forward” will be tainted and still thrown off aplomb by what went before and a failure to properly address question #1. I think a sterling example is Obama’s “prolonged detention” dilemma. I think the fact that he feels he needs to implement such a policy saps his credibility, and I think that another aspect that saps his credibility is that he hasn’t and says he won’t go back to try to address these boneheads who established this stupid, stupid policy in the first place. “Going forward” without answering to the giant fish kill in your wake, man, that’s so much harder to do.

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