Bush: I Meant 'Tarp'

WASHINGTON (ABP)—President Bush on Friday sought to clarify a position he stated earlier in the day, that if a deal could not be reached to save the American auto industry from bankruptcy, funds from the Troubled Asset Relief Plan (TARP) could be used.

“That’s not what I meant at all,” said Bush. “I wasn’t talking about that TARP. I was talking about A tarp. Y’ see, I had this idea. In the basement of the White House, there’s this really big tarp. In other words, my idea was to take the tarp and throw it over the economy. Outta sight, outta mind, y’ know?”

Bush said he had forgotten that the program had been assigned that particular acronym.

“I didn’t mean to be speakin’ acrophobically, or even morphologically” said Bush. “I was just sayin’ that sometimes the best thing you can do is to, y’ know, throw a big tarp over stuff that’s bad and go have a beer.”

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