November 27, 2009

In Which Sarah Vowell and I Share an Experience in Common

By Brady Bonk

Born in the first year of [Noxin’s] administration, by the end of it, during the ever-present Watergate hearings on television, I thought Watergate was just a regular TV show, like Bonanza or Scooby-Doo. My mother claims it was unnerving to have a four-year-old always tugging at her hem saying, “Mom, Watergate’s on!” (From The Partly Cloudy Patriot)

I did the same thing with my Gramma G, who was watching the hearings ever so intently.

(Which is why we should have impeached Gorge W. Boosh when we had the chance. TO GET IT ON TELEVISION. Dummies.)

Filed Under: The Liberal Media

In Other News: The UK Is Holding An Iraq War Inquiry

By Brady Bonk

From BBC News:

The UK received intelligence days before invading Iraq that Saddam Hussein may not have been able to use chemical weapons, an adviser has said.

Foreign Office official Sir William Ehrman told the war inquiry that a report suggested that such weapons may have been “disassembled”.

A separate report suggested Iraq might also “lack” warheads capable of spreading chemical agents, he added.

But Sir William defended the invasion, saying Iraq had flouted UN resolutions.

Nod to hairyfishnuts.

November 25, 2009

Quoth

By Brady Bonk

The Presidency is not merely an administrative office. That’s the least of it. It is more than an engineering job, efficient or inefficient. It is preeminently a place of moral leadership. All our great Presidents were leaders of thought at times when certain historic ideas in the life of the nation had to be clarified.

—Franklin D. Roosevelt, 1932

Filed Under: Quotes

Delusional Shit-Head

By Brady Bonk

We did not have a terrorist attack on our country during President Bush’s term.
—Former White House Spokesmodel Dana Perino

I am not making this up.

Filed Under: The Liberal Media
November 24, 2009

Arianna Huffington Must Be Stopped

By Brady Bonk

I myself as an amateur policy wonk have been known to turn left at Altoona a time or two to complete an analogy. In fact, sometimes it’s fun to just pull an analogy completely out of your rectum and to just throw it up there whether it makes any sense or not.

But for Arianna Huffington to draw a direct line between the Obama administration’s response to the unemployment figures and the Bush administration’s response to Hurricane Katrina? I mean, come on.

Should the Obama economic team moved more quickly on jobs? Did it give too much quarter on the stim? Too many tax cuts, not enough brick and/or mortar? Oh, yes. But this is hardly due to the seemingly willful ignorance that motored Boosh. I think if the Obama munny gurus are guilt of anything, it’s of being overly cautious, of being too cowed by Republigoats, and of feeling obliged to continue to buy the prevailing “wisdom” of the Chicago Assclowns regarding the mythical Free Market beast that consumes good intention and shitty ideas and poofs gold flakes.

But have they been as willfully, as foolishly negligent as was Boosh while people were drowning in their own attics? Really?

Rather than spend time drawing such ridiculous analogies, the Huffington Post needs to employ a few more copy editors. Yes, Arianna, there is yet another editorial error in your column. Unless you really meant to write that remaining TARP funds should be used to “hail out Main Street?” Spell-check ain’t an editor.

Filed Under: The Liberal Media
November 22, 2009

Sarah Palin and the Mammogram Debate

By Papa Bonk

Debating by talking trash should only be done when you have no real facts to work with. That’s why the GOOP does it so often. Those of us who have the facts on our side should use them. It is easier to win when you speak the truth and there is an added benefit that you tend to impress your enemies with your sense of fair play.

Thus, I find myself defending The Fool Sarah Palin this week. Not because I like her but because the facts ought to speak for themselves and she is more right in the case of the mammogram study than she is wrong. If you put a million monkeys at computer keyboards, one will write a correct sentence once in a while.

What The Fool Palin said was that there is some death panel mentality associated with the mammogram recommendations. This is entirely correct. The study group found that the number of false positives for women under 50 getting mammograms (470 per 1,000) is so much higher than the number of true positives (14 per 1,000) that its not worth this group of women getting mammograms. This is because the cost of the extra tests, biopsies and such that are necessary to follow up a false positive far outweighs the damage caused by having 14 women per 1,000 having their breast cancer go undetected.

Members of the study panel (called The U.S. Preventive Services Task Force) have indicated they wanted to save women the inconvenience and anxiety of the tests. Tell that to the 14 women whose children would be happy to trade a little anxiety for a live Mom cooking the Thanksgiving turkey. This decision makes perfectly good sense to accountants, and certainly saves the insurance industry a bundle. But it might also be a death sentence to those women who have cancer but don’t get the test. Rationing of health care, a death panel scenario? Definitely.

But most of what we hear from the left is that The Fool Palin is an idiot and does not know what she is talking about. Truth is, she has a point here, and we should give her the point she made. Then we should correct the record because a lot of what she says is crap.

First, Palin says the report is an example of what to expect if we pass health care reform.  This is complete crap.  The panel, appointed by the Busch administration, existed before the health care debate began. It would have made a recommendation whether or not there was a health reform proposal in congress.  The  recommendation will give insurance companies a reason not to pay for mammograms for women under 50. That fact is emblematic of the thinking of the insurance industry, which will take any opportunity to reduce services and increase profits so that the CEO can make more money.  Thus, if anything, the report emphasizes why we need health care reform.

Second, the panel was appointed by the Busch Administration. Secretary Sebelius (who never should have let this out of her shop and should take some of the blame) has said its not her report and HHS will not consider it binding on federal policy.

Third, the only chance there is to fix it now is to slip something in the health care bill that requires insurance companies to pay for mammograms annually for women over 40.

Filed Under: Speak Truth To Morons

Quote of the Year

By Papa Bonk

“A man can’t think without the facts.”
Lew Archer

Filed Under: Speak Truth To Morons
November 20, 2009

Yeah, We've Been Saying This For A Long Time

By Brady Bonk

The Huffington Post today front-pages something we here at Crack Whores for Good Government have been saying for a long, long time: The American economy ain’t fixed until it experiences the pending recession in commercial real estate.

Filed Under: Money

For the Record

By Brady Bonk

Once upon a time, there was a mayor of a very, very big metropolitan area in America. And the mayor decided to put the entire emergency operations center for the whole city in a building that was one of the only buildings in the entire city to have already been attacked! Brilliant, right? Lightning surely wouldn’t strike twice, right?

Except of course we weren’t talking about acts of God. We were talking about acts of crazy people. So, when terrorists finally got around to attacking the building again in 2001, guess where the emergency bunker was? That’s right. It was at the target. So when you see pictures of the mayor running uptown covered in 9/11 goo? It’s because he’s running toward a bunker that’s about to fall down.

When it comes to pretty much anything, this mayor is a bumbling moron, but the chances are good that it’s the things he talks most loudly about that he is the most woefully incompetent about. And we all know what he talks most loudly about, don’t we? T-e-r-r-o-r-i-s-m. This is a man who thought Bernie Kerik would have been an excellent choice to inaugurate the Homeland Security.

My point: Despite Rudy Giuliani’s apparent strength on the issue, it’s clear that the man SUCKS at it. So why is anybody listening to this asshole regarding the recent announcement that we’ll be trying KSM and several other 9/11 luminaries in sunny New York?

Consider that regarding any of these scat-munchers. They were wrong, and now it’s time to stop listening to them. Eric Holder is absolutely right to want to introduce these assclowns to the good ol’ American justice system. I don’t know about you, but I’m goddamned tired of waiting. Try them and let’s get some justice for 9/11 at long last!

Filed Under: The War Is Stupid
November 19, 2009

An Open Letter to the People of Alabama and South Carolina

By Papa Bonk

What kinda Chicken Shit Cowards are you? No damn wonder you lost the civil war!!! Cowering in your GOOP in fear of a few shackled and bound suspected terrorists.

BOO! Here Comes Kalil Sheik Mohammed!! Gonna get you dumbass crackers!!

OH. Wait! He is not going to South Carolina? Alabama is not on his US Tour? They are sending him to New York? WoW! When I hear your boys Sessions and DeMint talking at the U.S. Senate, I think we are turning these dangerous criminals loose on the streets of Charleston and country clubs of Birmingham. New York? Hell, that’s my back yard.

Tell you little fellas what. I will protect you.

New Yorkers are not afraid of a few renegade Arabs. We have been there before. They tried to take out the trade center in 1994 and we arrested them and charged them and threw them in the slam. There they sit to this day. They murdered more than 3,000 of our brothers and sisters in 2001. Send them back to us. We want them. We want them to get what they deserve.

This will not be redneck southern justice. We will not form lynch mobs and haul them out in the dark of night and watch them die from behind the protection of white sheets and funny cone shaped hats. We will try them in open court and make it fair and if it turns out that they are guilty we will fry their asses.

We are not afraid. If their brothers wish to launch a new attack against us because we seek to bring Kalil to justice, let it happen. We are not cowering under our beds like a bunch of South Carolina sod kickers, Alabama mud hens. Even liberals carry guns in New York. We are ready. Bring them on!!

Filed Under: Speak Truth To Morons