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Monthly Archives: April 2007



Of late, Democrats in leadership positions have been taking a lot of crap for arguing that the Untied States is failing in Iraq. What seems not to be understood is that they’re right. There is wall building going on in Iraq to keep sects from killing one another. I don’t know how anyone my age […]

An Experiment To Try At Home


Here’s an interesting experiment that you can try at home. 1. Print out a nice big picture of Rosie O’Donnell and another nice big picture of Osama bin Laden. 2. Paste the pictures onto a piece of posterboard. Allow them to dry. If you really want to be fancy about it, you can paste a paint stirrer or […]

Prediction Reiteration


I reiterate my prediction that Alboo “Fredo” Gonzoo will maintain his position as Attorney General of the United States through January 2009. Because, who they gonna replace him with who’s as batshit insane as he who’ll be confirmed by this Congress? Listen to me. He’s not. Going. Anywhere.

New Rule


New Rule: If you suggest in any public forum that a situation like the tragic shootings recently at Virginia Tech would not have happened if everyone in America were armed to the teeth, you must pack your bags and move to Iraq. Immediately. That means you, Newt Gingrich. Get packin’, suckah! I’m not suggesting that […]

Dear Kent Jones


Thank you. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Thanks to you, Kent Jones, I now know WHY all of those people were walking down the street in New Orleans dressed up as pirates.



Transcribed from Randi from sometime last week: “All you need to understand about this is that the President of the United States, being the only person who can fire a U.S. Attorney, has decided that he was going to appoint 33-year-old political hacks, loyal to him and to the Republican party over experienced career prosecutors […]

Imus in the Mourning


I know. The normally crack staff here at Ketchup Is A Vegetable is sorely belaboring the Imus incident. We can’t help it. We’re a big fat radio nerd. I do want to clarify the position I took previously upon first absorbing this information. The lede in that opinion piece should be tethered a bit, to […]

A Quick Sweet Thought About Wolfowitz:


Can we please stop referring to her as his “girlfriend” or as his “friend?” Let’s be real. “Fuckbuddy.” C’mon.

Seeing Don Imus for the Trees


Don Imus is not a racist. He’s a misogynist. That’s my take on it, anyway. Mind you, I am not technically qualified to draw a bead on this latest weird white guy flare-up, being both white and a guy myself. But I am also an amateur observer of politcal and cultural issues who thinks our […]

John McCain Is A Douchebag


The nice thing about being Sen. John McCain this week is that you personally get to symbolize everything that is wrong with the American occupation of Iraq. How could anyone manage to appear more foolish than the current president? But McCain has somehow managed to out-chimp the Chimp. I don’t have to rehash the headlines […]