Well, now we know what led Andrew Breitbart to freak out at a group of teenagers like this.
That mad cow disease is a bitch.
They’re saying that Breitbart, 43, was out walking after midnight, out in the moonlight, and that he fell down and died. Natural causes is all they’re saying.
That’s because they don’t want to admit that it’s mad cow disease. Or, a more technical explanation, he overdosed on the suppository*. You can only shove so many of those jagged fuckers in your ass per lifetime, Andrew.
In tributes to this inexplicably famous person, it will no doubt be noted that Breitbart was involved in the takedowns of former Georgia State Director of Rural Development Shirley “Shoorah! Shoorah!” Sherrod, ACORN, and Anthony “The Weiner” Weiner. Even if these feats of strengths were somehow legitimate, that’s the stuff one builds a career upon? What did you do with your life, sir? Well, I wrecked the career of an old black lady, I decimated a community organizing group, and I let it be known to the world that a U.S. Representative liked to send pictures of his petzl on his mobile phone!
That’s a career?
And the fact is that the first two efforts were based on complete bullshit. Sherrod did not make a racist speech; she actually told a heartwarming story of racial reconciliation. And the ACORN recordings were just plain silly and sadly led to the takedown of an organization that was doing good in these Untied States of America.
The only thing Andrew Breitbart ever did that was not based on lies and heavily edited video was to reveal to America that Anthony Weiner had photographed his own manhood at some point.
How will we make it without him?
*According to the Serious Poo-Poo Institute of Technology Stylebook: “The Suppository: The jagged, horrid, rusty, poisonous suppository that is used to corrupt Republigoats, that travels from their ass through their entire bloodstream, leaving behind shards of poison and bad ideas, and ending up in the brain, where it severs the corpus collosum and implants the text of “Atlas Shrugged,” poop, and the hallucination that Ann Coulter is hot.”