February 2, 2010

John McWeirdsmile. Still a Disingenuous Asshole.

By Brady Bonk

DADT hearings today. Here’s something what happened. The Secretary of Defense, Robert Gates, who you might remember also held that post during the administration of Chimpy McCokespoon, came out (no pun intended) in support of ending DADT. He referenced the statement of the President of the United States during the SOTU, saying:

The question before us is not whether the military prepares to make this change but how we best prepare for it. We received our orders from the commander-in-chief, and we are moving out accordingly. However, we can only take this process only so far, as the ultimate decision rests with you, the Congress.

Sen. John McWeirdsmile, a twice-failed presidential candidate, was deeply disappointed with Secretary Gates’ statement. He said:

I’m deeply disappointed with your statement, Secretary Gates.

Then he said:

Your statement obviously is one that is clearly biased without the view of Congress being taken into consideration…I’m happy to say that we still have a Congress of the United States to repeal don’t ask don’t tell, despite your efforts to repeal it in many respects by fiat.

Let’s read again what Gates actually said.

The question before us is not whether the military prepares to make this change but how we best prepare for it. We received our orders from the commander-in-chief, and we are moving out accordingly. However, we can only take this process only so far, as the ultimate decision rests with you, the Congress.

John McWeirdsmile is either a disingenous asshole, or he’s a fucking moron.

I never thought I’d have crossed fingers for this but: Godspeed, J.D. Hayworth.

Filed Under: John McWeirdsmile
January 11, 2010

Just as Dim as You Thought

By Brady Bonk

A while ago, I wrote that, perhaps, a sitting senator ought to know the difference between the Constitution and the Declaration of Independence.

Now, a 60 Minutes interview reveals that twice-failed presidential candidate John McWeirdsmile nearly brought into the White House a person who was even less informed a person than is John Boner.

In public, Palin looked like the game changer McCain had wanted, but in private, the authors say she was struggling to learn too much too fast.

“Her foreign policy tutors are literally taking her through, ‘This is World War I, this is World War II, this is the Korean War. This is the how the Cold War worked.’ Steve Schmidt had gone to them and said, ‘She knows nothing,'” Heilemann told Cooper. “A week later, after the convention was over, she still didn’t really understand why there was a North Korea and a South Korea. She was still regularly saying that Saddam Hussein had been behind 9/11. And, literally, the next day her son was about to ship off to Iraq. And when they asked her who her son was going to fight, she couldn’t explain that.”

Prudence Palin was born on February 11, 1964. Yet, she had to have the Cold War explained to her. She apparently could not keep the world wars straight and had trouble wrapping her gray matter around the 38th parallel. Apparently, she’s never seen a single episode of M*A*S*H.

Today, we learn that Palin is all set to become part of the great corporate “media filter.” On Fox “News,” of course.

I’m not sure if this confirms or disproves the Peter Principle.

Regardless, it is absolutely mortifying that John McWeirdsmile nearly placed this idiot in the OEOB. Just remember that. Remember that every time this jackass opens his mouth. He nearly put Prudence Palin, whose knowledge base probably only nearly approximates that of Sal the Stockbroker, into the White House.

He should be made to wear a “Palin 2012” t-shirt wherever he goes.

November 12, 2008

Keep Digging!

By Brady Bonk

If Prudence Palin were smart (snort!), she’d stop talking in front of television cameras, return immediately to Anchorage, and go to work in a soup kitchen. The cameras would still be present, but she would come across as a person of substance rather than as the self-contradicting boob we continue to see today.

Palin will be Larry King’s guest this evening. Keep digging, you vacuous heffer!

Filed Under: John McWeirdsmile
October 17, 2008

And I Believe That You Need To Stay The Hell In Alaska

By Brady Bonk

We believe that the best of America is not all in Washington, D.C. We believe that the best of America is in these small towns that we get to visit, and in these wonderful little pockets of what I call the real America, being here with all of you hard working very patriotic, um, very, um, pro-America areas of this great nation. This is where we find the kindness and the goodness and the courage of everyday Americans. Those who are running our factories and teaching our kids and growing our food and are fighting our wars for us. Those who are protecting us in uniform. Those who are protecting the virtues of freedom.

This statement by Prudence Palin today in Greensboring, North Carolina, smacks so obviously of Danny Quayle’s “Murphy Brown” comments that it is uncanny. I know, the subject matter is different, but the idiotic, naive tone just shimmers right off of it. When Quayle made his comments, I was a teenage boy in a single-parent household. (And you wonder why I vote how I do.) Now, a vice presidential candidate suggests that there are “pro-America areas” of America. A close relative of a presidential candidate in fact suggested that the very area of America where I live is “communist.” I know he was quipping, but it was a shitty quip. I was born registered Democrat, and I’ll die that way, still pushing hard for instant runoff voting all the way.

This is where the McWeirdsmile/Prudence campaign lives, tho, trying to suggest today and in its Hail Plumber Joe deal the other day that somehow, they’re just folkie, friendly, corn-fed folks. You know, folks. Just like folks. Next she’ll be using applying her skills as a flautist to a spent whiskey crock and saying “howdy ya’ll.” It is idiocy. But there is a real danger in what her statement suggests, that some areas of the nation are made up of decent, God-fearin’ Americans, implictly suggesting that those elitist city-slickers just ain’t to be trusted.

Which leads me to wonder. Nine years ago, I moved from Cary, N.C. (40 minutes or so from where she spoke) to live in Arlington, Va. Does Palin think I was a “pro-America” folk before, and that, when I moved to the D.C. Metro area, I lost said status? How does that work?

And who made these assholes the arbiters of adequate levels of patriotism? This is the same political ideology that has just about nearly now gotten finished curb-jobbing America. They’ve been wrong about everything, everything, everything, from the efficacy of invading Iraq to how to steer the economy, and you reckon they know shite about patriotism? Actual patriotism? “Terrorist fist-jab?” WTF?

Look. Which message sets better with ya? What Prudence Palin said today? Or what Joe the Senator said today?

It’s disappointing, and I hope it’s a slip of the tongue and she doesn’t mean it, but she said it. It was reported she said that she likes to visit quote “pro American” parts of the country. Ladies and gentlemen, I, like your senator and governor, have been all over this great land. I’ve never been to a state, I’ve never been to a state that hasn’t sent its sons and daughters to serve and die for this country. One of the reasons why Barack and I are running is that we know how damaging the politics of division that continues to be practiced by the McCain, how damaging this policy of division has been. It’s time to put this behind us. Folks, it is not a corny thing. It’s real. We are one nation, under God, indivisible. We are all patriotic. We all love our country in every part of this country. And I’m tired. I am tired, tired, tired, tired of the implications about patriotism.

Me too.

October 16, 2008

Argh! Fire Bad!

By Brady Bonk

October 13, 2008

I Bet Prudence Palin Can't Even Spell 'Infrastructure'

By Brady Bonk

Rachel Maddow, doing what she does best, tonight:

One truism in American politics now is that Americans trust Democrats more than they trust Republicans on the issue of the economy. It’s borne out by the polls, by which I mean that it is observably true, but it’s also a truism, in the sense that it’s taken for granted; it often doesn’t even explained. Well, Obama’s proposal today on the economy, on the government taking action in hard economic times to create jobs by building infrastructure, if you want to understand why Americans broadly like Democrats on economic issues? Lookie here! This is the DNA of the Democratic Party on the economy in a time of crisis. When the private sector is failing to do what the country needs it to do, use the public sector to help relieve the pain, to stimulate the private sector, and, ultimately, everybody wins. Public works projects create jobs. People get hired to build those roads and bridges and schools. When those buidling projects are done, we all benefit from improved quality of life because our roads and bridges are improved, and they’re safer, too. And the cost of doing business in America goes down because the truckers and the shipping companies and the widget makers all benefit as much as you do from fewer axle-breaking frost heaves on the highway. It’s yet to be seen whether America is ready for a new New Deal. But if we need one economically, we will need a President who can make that case, that government’s got to have a role to play. That’s why it’s no accident that tough economic times turn American eyes toward Democrats.

It’s also why John McWeirdsmile has appeared to be so utterly tone-deaf every time he has whined about earmarks. Certainly, there’s pork in earmarks, but that’s also sometimes how a state or congressional district accquires badly-needed infrastructure jing. And since right now feels eerily more like the Great Depression than certainly any time since I’ve been alive, it might be a bad idea to be charging against infrastructure investment in local communities, seeing as how that was one tool in FDR’s arsenal what helped snap us the hell out of it.

I am utterly ecstatic that Mr. Obama has proposed infrastructure investment as monetary policy. I just hope he’ll be able to find the money to do it. Infrastructure investment is, to me and also to Rachel Maddow, the most essential and yet most severely overlooked national security issue for America. Not to mention that all this talk about “going green” goes nowhere without the proper infrasturcture upgrades nationwide. I believe fervently that you can measure a country’s health by the shape of its transportation infrastructure, and we’ve poured neither enough money nor enough sweat into ours for years.

Fortunately, it’s looking like Obama’s coattails may reach all the way to Hong Kong, while McWeirdsmile’s may not even shade his crack. Florida Gov. Charlie Christ…sorry, I mean “Crist”…snubbed Commander Tigh real bad today, choosing to go to Disney World rather than to be seen with him. That is stunning; not even Crist, who was on the train early for the Republigoat nominee, is willing to be seen with him. Stunner.

John McWeirdsmile has apparently learned an important lesson of governance from The Current President: Take All Of Your Credibilty and Piss It Away And Then Poop On It, Then Bludgeon It With A Stick. What a dickhead.

October 8, 2008

Hank the Angry Presidential Candidate

By Brady Bonk

There is an adage that has never made much sense to me, that one can “catch more bees with honey than with vinegar.” Why anyone would want to catch a bee is beyond me. Nonetheless, someone should utter this phrase, perhaps with the addendum “or with a machete” attached, to the political campaign of Hank the Angry Presidential Candidate.

The surprising thing about the election that’s shaping up is that John McWeirdsmile isn’t going to lose because of his awful policies, or because he is indeed the sequel to The Current President, or because he wants the Untied States of America to occupy Iraq forever. No, John McWeirdsmile is going to lose because he’s an angry bitter horrible shitty little angry bitter shit of a person.

Having seen Debate II, it seems that John McWeirdsmile believes Obama to be neither a mere political opponent nor an esteemed colleague, but instead a member of an untouchable caste where mere eye contact or social exchange sucks out one’s soul and insides all at once. It is McWeirdsmile’s weird, psychopathic disdain of his opponent that will elect Barack Obama in a landslide. Because it is not playing in Peoria.

Damnit, I hate it when someone else writes something better than I can.:

America in October 2008 is a grim-faced place. Calling the current economic situation merely “chaotic” would be putting too much a shine on it: it is, in fact, dismal. The war may be far away and out of mind, but vast American banks going under is difficult to ignore. The collapse of titanic Wall Street firms isn’t something that can be papered over or forgotten. The housing market, the credit market, the jobs market—these are miserable, unnerving days, in America, and there seems little to no chance that they will not expand into dismal months, and years. The Dow has been dropping like a stone, losing 500 points yesterday alone—and that, after a series of other bad days.

Given that, snippy little attack lines, one candidate towards another, seem petty. Speeches and debates peppered with half-truth laden pokes and contrived snipes seem, compared to an economic crisis that we just threw $700 billion at to apparently little effect, very nearly insulting to the audience. On one hand, we fear a Depression: on the other hand, we have time to play the same ridiculous, Rove-inspired smear mongering that has defined the politics of the last decade.

Inciting violent hecklers while hashing up so much happy horseshit that was already thoroughly vetted through the efforts of one Hillary “Monster Tweety” Clinton is not smart. Speeches from Hank the Angry Presidential Candidate and his buddy Prudence Palin have offered the past few days have incited hecklers to be downright violent, one screaming “Terrorist!” at the mention of Obama and/or William Ayers, another had reported yelled “Kill him!” regarding our guy. Culture of life my ass.

The thing is, there is a way to run against Obama, but I can’t think of a Republigoat who’s capable of it. Maybe Arnie Vinick. The hypothetical/fictional candidate would have to hoist himself up to join Obama on the high road next to the cool stream where Obama lives. He’d have to be able to calmly and authentcially explain how, despite his common party affiliation with the disaster that’s in the White House now, he’d be a true reformer. The thing is, though, he’d have to back that talk up with action concurrent to his campaign. He’d have to have made sweeping changes to the party platform at the Republigoat Convention so he could tout those changes as breakthrough examples of how his leadership would be different from W’s. I might also have him break tradition and start floating names for his cabinet, to show concretely that he’s not the crony kisser that W is. So you don’t answer Brokaw’s question about Treasury with a weird glib nonsequitur. You answer it sincerely and the answer had better not be “Phil Gramm.” Most important, though, you don’t splash around in the mud and you have to appear at least as if not more Fonzie-like and serious than Obama.

The fact is that America is not going to elect an angry bitter shitty dwarf to be President of the Untied States. They’re just not.

P.S. A special thanks to John McWeirdsmile and his baffling behavior for providing an excuse to use a photo of the late great Henry Joseph Nasiff Jr., known to Fans of The Show as Hank The Angry Drunken Dwarf. Quote: “I’m not a midget. I’m a dwarf, you asshole!” In truth, Hank was seven times the wit of the Republigoat nominee. But he provides a great analogy nonetheless. Thanks, Hank.

October 6, 2008

Keating Economics

By Brady Bonk

keatingeconomics.com

Filed Under: John McWeirdsmile
September 30, 2008

It's Not A Gaffe, and It's No Surprise

By Brady Bonk

gaffe also gaff (gf)
n.
1. A clumsy social error; a faux pas: “The excursion had in his eyes been a monstrous gaffe, a breach of sensibility and good taste” Mary McCarthy.
2. A blatant mistake or misjudgment.

Words often become so misused and bent out of shape that they lose the originally intended meaning. “Irony” is one example of this. “Conservative” is another. The misfired word of the day is “gaffe.”

Here’s the reporting from Politico:

Of concern to McCain’s campaign, however, is a remaining and still-undisclosed clip from Palin’s interview with Couric last week that has the political world buzzing.

The Palin aide, after first noting how “infuriating” it was for CBS to purportedly leak word about the gaffe, revealed that it came in response to a question about Supreme Court decisions.

After noting Roe vs. Wade, Palin was apparently unable to discuss any major court cases.

That is not a “gaffe.” It is IGNORANCE. And it is not surprising. It simply verifies that Prudence Palin was a naked pandering to the most fundamentalist nooks and crannies of the Republigoat Party. Of course she is ignorant about the judicial branch. She and hers would prefer that it didn’t exist. They are openly at war with it and have no use for it whatsoever. So whats if she knows nothing of Plessy V. Ferguson or Brown V. BOE or Loving V. Virginia or Griswold V. Connecticut?

(Actually, I am a little shocked she’s not familiar with Griswold because if she knew what was in that decision, she would most likely desire it overturned immediately.)

Hell, half the Supreme Court doesn’t give a darn about previous court decisions neither. Why oughtta she?

September 24, 2008

The Cornered Rabid Elephant

By Brady Bonk

Here’s what I think, as I ponder the news of the last few days up until the very last few miliseconds, as I hear that John McWeirdsmile says he now does not want to debate on Friday due to the “economic” “crisis.”

I think you are witnessing a political aparatus with its back to the wall. And it’s going to fight like a hungry mama duck on on steroids standing on a hot plate with spurs in its feathers. Because the issue isn’t just that these people don’t want to surrender power. It’s not just that they want to appoint the next three Supremes. It’s not even just that they’re failed idealogues who still believe fervently anyway and want to keep trying.

It’s that, if they don’t win, they might not have time to shred everything before President Obama gets the keys to the file drawer. These assholes have a LOT that they don’t want you to know, and I think they’ll claw to keep power so they can continue and continue and continue dragging government into the opaque of earth until you simply can’t even see it anymore.

If you think you’re seeing some desperate gambits on the part of the Republigoats now, just wait. This “suspension” of McWeirdsmile’s campaign is just the start. It is a desperate gambit that Mr. Obama has today confirmed is sheer, utter bullshit.