November 12, 2010

Wrong!

By Brady Bonk

During his interview with Rachel Maddow, Jon Stewart was trying to make the case that he is somehow more on the sidelines politically then are folks like Maddow and such. As an example, he said that “Roger Ebert doesn’t make movies…”

Wrong! Roger Ebert has indeed made movies.

From the Wiki:

Ebert co-wrote the screenplay for the 1970 Russ Meyer film Beyond the Valley of the Dolls and likes to joke about being responsible for the film, which was poorly received on its release but is now regarded as a cult classic. Ebert and Meyer also made Beneath the Valley of the Ultra-Vixens, Up!, and others, and were involved in the ill-fated Sex Pistols movie Who Killed Bambi? In April 2010, Ebert posted his screenplay of “Who Killed Bambi?” aka “Anarchy in the UK” on his blog.

This is one of those things, one of those little details you don’t think matters, like when PB pointed out about who actually, historically, created “fake news.” One might not think it matters so much. But to say that “Roger Ebert doesn’t make movies” is actually an inaccurate portrayal of the man’s career. Roger Ebert was, at one point in his career, involved in making films. Sorry.

Filed Under: Fake News
February 4, 2010

Balls Recovered at 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue

By Brady Bonk

WASHINGTON (ABP)—First Lady Michelle Obama didn’t remember shoving the shoebox-sized box marked “Barack’s Balls” under the bed while the family hurriedly unpacked on or around Jaunuary 20, 2010. But she was certainly glad for the day last week when an earring backing fell to the floor and brought her to the ground to peek there.

“I peered right under there, and there it was, that little pink box! I couldn’t believe it,” said Mrs. Obama. “He’d been all over the place looking for it—er, for them—for months! ‘Michelle,’ he’d say, ‘Where the hell are my balls?’ And I’d say, ‘I don’t know, Barack, where were you when you last had them?’ And he’d say, ‘Denver.'”

Mrs. Obama returned the balls to her husband the afternoon before the State of the Union Address.

“He reinstalled them and then he started walking differently, even!” she said. “He said, you know, I think I’m going to tell that Supreme Court a thing or two tonight! Screw those people!”

For a moment, Mrs. Obama said she thought there was another President in the White House.

“All he needed was a cowboy hat and you would have thought it was Dubya,” she said. “His swagger was getting pretty fierce until I swatted him in the ass and reminded him about the Olympics. He may be a Nobel Peace Prize laureate and all, but even he couldn’t bring the Olymics home! That brought him down a peg or two.”

Press Secretary Robert Gibbs confirmed that the President has recovered his balls.

“Oh, he’s quite happy to have them back,” said Gibbs. “The President hasn’t felt right without his balls. Now he’s much more comfortable. Republicans and ‘moderate’ Democrats had best beware. And, for that matter, you need to watch it when the man turns around. His balls are pretty hefty, and if you’re not careful, the President might just whack you in the thigh with his balls.”

Having attended both the Republicans’ and the Democrats’ retreats with his balls and the National Prayer Breakfast to boot, it is hoped by some that Obama will not be seen in public without them again.

“Maybe we’ll do something with them for April Fools’,” said Mrs. Obama. “But I don’t think they’re going back in that box again.”

Then, she added, with a sideways smile, “And, thank goodness for that!”

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Filed Under: Fake News