May 11, 2010

Drill, Baby, Drill! Then Cap! And Come Back For The Oil Later When It Is More Expensive!

By Brady Bonk

You do understand that’s what BP was doing, right?

You do grasp, don’t you, that BP wasn’t drilling up a bunch of oil so it could generously pump it immediately into the American domestic marketplace, causing our gasoline prices to decrease and alleviating our economic dependence on our swarthy adversaries overseas. That’s not what was actually happening when they sprung this leak in the Gulf, you do know that, right?

That they’d actually discovered some oil, and they were in the process of capping the well so that they could come back later and easily start pulling the Texas Tea out of the ground when prices were higher. You know that, right?

That there’s a gooey nasty mess of epic proportions in our waters because another corporation was trying to gouge you yet again? Get it?

“Drill Baby Drill” was bullshit during the summer of 2008 and it’s bullshit now. K?