February 4, 2009

Dennis Kucinich Is Awesome

By Brady Bonk

There are few legislators who fall into the category of “awesome,” but they include fellas like Russ Feingold, Bernie Sanders, and, of course, Dennis Kucinich.

Kucinich’s story itself is damned interesting. Here’s a guy who grew up in a large family one could classify as “housing challenged,” became the youngest mayor of Cleveland. He refused to allow the electric company there to be privatized, and it led to a price on his head. Really. He lost reelection when the banks trying to buy Muny Light forced default. 20 years after, though, Muny Light expanded and thrived. Kucinich had saved its ass and nearly got shot in the head for it.

Right now, he’s railing about naming rights, which is a detail many folks wouldn’t have thought of. But why in hell should any company that took TARP money get to buy naming rights? Why should taxpayers pony up so that they can go to the “Fed-Ex Staples K-Mart Wells Fargo Bank of America Stadium?”

September 8, 2008

Technical Difficulties

By Brady Bonk

Please stand by.

June 5, 2008

Too Little, Too Late

By Brady Bonk

Dear So-And-So,

I wanted you to be one of the first to know: on Saturday, I will hold an event in Washington D.C. to thank everyone who has supported my campaign. Over the course of the last 16 months, I have been privileged and touched to witness the incredible dedication and sacrifice of so many people working for our campaign. Every minute you put into helping us win, every dollar you gave to keep up the fight meant more to me than I can ever possibly tell you.

On Saturday, I will extend my congratulations to Senator Obama and my support for his candidacy. This has been a long and hard-fought campaign, but as I have always said, my differences with Senator Obama are small compared to the differences we have with Senator McCain and the Republicans.

I have said throughout the campaign that I would strongly support Senator Obama if he were the Democratic Party’s nominee, and I intend to deliver on that promise.

When I decided to run for president, I knew exactly why I was getting into this race: to work hard every day for the millions of Americans who need a voice in the White House.

I made you—and everyone who supported me—a promise: to stand up for our shared values and to never back down. I’m going to keep that promise today, tomorrow, and for the rest of my life.

I will be speaking on Saturday about how together we can rally the party behind Senator Obama. The stakes are too high and the task before us too important to do otherwise.

I know as I continue my lifelong work for a stronger America and a better world, I will turn to you for the support, the strength, and the commitment that you have shown me in the past 16 months. And I will always keep faith with the issues and causes that are important to you.

In the past few days, you have shown that support once again with hundreds of thousands of messages to the campaign, and again, I am touched by your thoughtfulness and kindness.

I can never possibly express my gratitude, so let me say simply, thank you.

Sincerely,
Hillary

June 4, 2008

The Agony Of Defeat

By Brady Bonk

Of all the left-wing nutbars on the radio who yak into my ear all day long, Thom Hartmann has been the weirdest, at least from my perspective. Hartmann’s line has been that Presumptive Nominee Barack Obama should consider Hillary Clinton his number-one seed for veep. His argument, and it unfortunately makes sense, is that an Obama-Clinton ticket would be the most efficient way to heal the party. Hartmann has been steadfast in this argument now for weeks.

But Mrs. Clinton lost him last night.

Today, Hartmann is expressing his disappointment that she refused last night to acknowledge that the nomination had been clinched. Indeed, Monster Tweety chose instead to make the insane statement that intended to consult with her people and decide what to do next. Hello? 2,118? Remember? Barack Obama tied up the nomination at around 10 p.m. last evening? Hello?

Mr. Hartmann has nailed it on the head today: Last night the only opportunity Hillary Clinton will ever have again to annoint Obama and to speak directly to her supporters to begin the healing process. She chose to congratulate Obama on the race he had run, not the race he had won, and to reserve concession for another day. She will never again have a stage and an audience that large by which to deliver the message that it’s time to fall in line. Last night was it. And she blew it.

She can’t be his veep pick. How do you have a veep pick who has been witnessed, in public, endorsing the Republigoat opposition? How? How do you do that? How do you have a veep pick who won’t even acknowledge the nomination? How? This talk of her being veep is absurd. I said it at the beginning of things, and I’ll say it now: Hillary Clinton is a very good senator.

June 3, 2008

Is This It?

By Brady Bonk

Mr. Obama now needs only 10, count ’em, 10 delegates to be the nominee.

I have Keith and Tweety on. I’m on pins and/or needles.

9:36 p.m. Am now listening to Monster Tweety on the TV machine. Her opening was the most conciliatory I’ve heard her. By the way, there’s a quality of political speaking that I’m coming to characterize as “Stop Naming Dwarves” (see Friends, The One With The Metaphorical Tunnel). The most clear example of this is the naming of states where one has run, a la Howard Dean’s “I Have A Scream” speech. By the way. The ‘Yes She Will’ chant is and always has been tired and stupid. 9:39 p.m. Ah, there’s the ‘count every vote’ thing. 9:40 p.m. OMFG. Did she just say “stay the course?” Isn’t that a phrase a Democrat should piss on and then sprint away from? 9:37 p.m. Dear gods, they’re chanting “Denver Denver Denver.” Geniuses. Let’s pray for a floor fight. Good idea. * Stop Naming Dwarves * 9:49 p.m. Ah, the non-concession concession speech. Hey, look, they got the Numa Numa guy to stand behind Monster Tweety. 10:10 p.m. Look. At that. Crowd. That is beautiful. 10:15 p.m. Obama says he will be the nominee. Oh, yeah. 10:18 p.m. Listen to him praise Monster Tweety. That’s sportsmanship. 10:38 p.m. Oh my god, I think I just came. 10:56 p.m. I have just donated a few bucks to the Obama campaign. You can too. Go on. Donate some bucks to the next President of the United States of America.

June 2, 2008

Cross My Heart

By Brady Bonk

I swear, if it turns out that Obama is the nominee this week, I swear I’ll vote for him in November.

Hey-ho. Let’s go.

May 31, 2008

Question

By Brady Bonk

Why isn’t Jim Blanchard running for President?

On another note, if I were chairing this meeting, I would tell all of these asshats in the audience that if they don’t knock off the applause, I’m clearing the room. All this applauding is making the Democratic Party look like a bunch of morons. You don’t see applause in a Judiciary Committee meeting. It’s friggin’ unseemly.

'Count Every Vote'

By Brady Bonk

How awesome, how utterly awesome, is Robert Wexler? Outside of Universal Studios and my Snowbird Granny, he’s the best thing about Florida.

Now. On to the “count every vote” meme discussed by the previous speaker, whose name I did not catch.

Let’s say you live in Fredonia, which holds elections every four years. President Firefly’s name is the only one on the ballot, and if you don’t vote, the Fredonian Security Forces come to your house and throw you in jail. But they count every vote, every single damned one.

So by the thinking I heard earlier this morning, Fredonia’s election results are completely valid.

Casting this as an issue of vote counting and voter disenfranchisement just doesn’t fly. The primary was fundamentally flawed. There were no Fredonian Security Forces, but, at least in Michigan, some names were not on the ballot, and in Florida, voters were told that they could stay home. As was mentioned here, had Florida’s primary been held in the normal fashion, turnout could have been doubled from its already stellar result.

In fact, as TPM asks today, if these delegations are seated no questions asked, doesn’t that disenfranchise the voters who were told not to bother voting and didn’t? And, by the way, those numbers may be nothing to sneeze at: “…as many as one million voters in Florida and probably more than a half million voters in Michigan did not vote who otherwise would have if they had not believed that the results would not be counted.”

Seriously, the only way to actually solve this problem is to nudge harder for the supers to pile on so we can get us a nominee and then just seat everybody.

May 26, 2008

Priorities, People!

By Brady Bonk

In my comments queue this morning stood this little gem. I did not approve it. But I am referring to it here.

Approval requested in the post titled “I Like To Wear Men’s Underwear,” which was about the Randi Rhodes YouTube debacle. Certain details in the post including the e-mail address have been changed to protect the stupid.

It said:

“To take a little heat off of Randi, it has been stated by others and noted by many in the know about Washington that Hillary has been involved in a Lesbian affair with…[a female person]…for…[a period of time]. If proof and cite are desired, I can be contacted at busybody at whogivesacrap.com.”

Who cares? Who cares who cares who cares who cares? Who cares? Why are people so interested in who the Clintons are screwing? Who cares?

I am more concerned with how badly they’re screwing the political process than I am with what particular person either one of them is actually with in the budoir. On your bike!

Also, and I’m only asking because this part of the statement is about to cause blood to squirt out of my nose, how, oh how, oh how does this statement “take a little heat off of Randi?” Mrs. Clinton is having a lesbian affair, so therefore the management at Air America Radio didn’t need to play contract hardball with her using some YouTubed comments she made in a nightclub in San Francisco? What?

Anyway: We here at Crack Whores for Good Government are not the only ones who noticed that Mrs. Clinton hasn’t quite been completely accurate about whenabouts Bill Clinton became the nominee in 1992. Here are a few others:

May 24, 2008

Hillary's Other Faux Pas

By Brady Bonk

Lately, I’ve been thinking that Keith Olbermann’s “Special Comment” segments have been a little out of hand.

When he first took on Don Rumsfeld in August 2006, it was necessary. Rumsfeld had severely insulted a majority of the American people. His arrogance and his hubris had led him to draw a nasty exclusionary line regarding dissent in America. Olbermann’s outrage at the time was well placed and, indeed, necessary. Lately, though, I’ve thought the thing has become somewhat of a gimmick for Coundown and that he’s tended to go a little too veiny-forehead-hockey-dad* on us. But you can bet that I was all about the one he offered last evening about Hillary “Ghandi Ran A Gas Station Down In St. Louis” Clinton. Olbermann’s point is spot-on—not only is uttering the “a” word inciteful regarding my man Barack H. Obama. It’s inciteful regarding herself as well. And she really should have known better since not even a week ago failed presidential candidate Mike Huckabee made the same error.

However, it occurs to me that all the focus on her use of the “a” word detracts from the other disturbing, disingenuous point Clinton was trying to make in front of that editorial board. To claim that you don’t understand why many want you out of the race? It forces one to ask a question we’ve asked about The Current President a thousand times: Is she stupid, or is she lying?

Mrs. Clinton: The reason many want you out of the race now is because you can’t win the nomination by any legitimate process, because the only way you can win the nomination now is by making the rules and credentials committees push this shit to the convention floor and to force the entire convention to allow illegitimate primary results to stand. Also, because the Democratic Party needs to start running against John McWeirdsmile, who has run unopposed since March 4 and who has run such a horrible campaign that, had Obama been allowed his rightful nomination, he would have been able to tackle McCain below the waist at least a dozen times by now. And, oh yeah: Because you are an asshole.

The fact that she can feign a lack of understanding of that basic idea is outrageous, even more outrageous than “invoking a nightmare.” It belies a candidate who is out of touch with the facts, either by character or by design. Remember, this is a candidate who has most recently attempted to conflate the Michigan and Florida problem as an issue of civil rights and/or voter supression. If you enjoy having a President who is comfortable with ignoring the facts in front of her face, then let’s just coronate The Current President for life. K?

Oh, and by the by, she’s also flat-out wrong (or lying). Bill Clinton had the nomination pretty well sewn up by March 20, 1992, when Paul Tsongas dropped out of the race (I always did like that Paul Tsongas), leaving only Jerry Brown to oppose him. Clinton clinched the nomination on April 7 by beating Brown in New York. It did not take Bill Clinton until June to wrap up the nomination. Her other historical example, aside from the chilling use of the “a” word, also draws a big “yeah? so?” Political seasons were different in the 1960s. John F. Kennedy declared his candidacy in January 1960, and Robert Kennedy declared his candidacy in March 1968. Of course he was still campaigning in June. He hadn’t been running for years and years in the maddening fashion that we do it these days. Here’s a tip: If you’re going to use bad historical analogies to justify your own candidacy’s wretched perversion of the democratic process, spend a little time on the Google first.

Hillary Clinton’s candidacy is over, it was over when Barack Obama swept the Potomac on Feb. 12. He should have been allowed then to ride his momentum all the way to the Presidency. At this point, the Democratic Party will show up in Denver so bruised and divided that we will be lucky if John McWeirdsmile doesn’t secure himself a mandate come November.

“You know that old Beach Boys’ song? Bomb Iran? Bomb bomb bomb…anyway…uh…”

If this happens, I hope the good people of New York will see fit to send Mrs. Clinton packing from the Senate in 2012.

*

And now, just to share one of my favorite examples of Hillary Clinton stepping in it, an encore embedding of “Ghandi Ran A Gas Station Down In St. Louis…” What an idiot.

*…stolen from Celebrity Mole champ Kathy Griffin…thanks…